No time for self-care? The Fringe Hours could change that! {book review}

I was recently blessed to be part of an online study for Jessica Turner's book, The Fringe Hours, and
trust me... it couldn't have come at a better time! The months of March - April proved to be a very full time (sharing a car, both of us working more hours, visitors, new health challenges). Many of those things were good (or had hidden blessings - like more time together on our shared commute), but a full schedule can certainly make it hard to find time for yourself. If you are anything like me, it is so easy to put everyone and everything else ahead of my own health and happiness. It can be challenging to know what godly service looks like - aren't we called to put others before ourselves? YES, of course... but does that mean that we completely ignore our own needs? Of course not. I value self-care and holistic health, but when it comes down to everyday life, I'm no different than any of you... how in the world do we find time to do it? Many of you have kids, work in some capacity, volunteer, and more I'm sure! Do you ever get to the end of the day, put your head on the pillow, and realize that you did absolutely nothing for yourself all day? This book will help you learn how to utilize your 'fringe hours' to change that...

Jessica's book is divided into four parts :

1. Explore (discussion of balance, self-imposed pressures, and how to eliminate guilt and comparison)
2. Discover (delves into ways to shift our perspective about self-care, what activities actually help each of us rest and recover personally, an exploration of past joys, starting a dream board, and actually finding the time to do all this!)
3. Maximize (how to prioritize activities, time management and efficiency, admitting the need for, as well as finding, help...and how to overcome common obstacles)
4. Live Well (valuing and cultivating community, what is rest and how to find it, and finally, choosing joy and living well)

An appendix also contains some 'extras' like The Fringe Hours Manifesto, survey results (the author surveyed more than 2000 women from all 50 states and more than 30 countries!) and a companion website with more goodies (www.fringehours.com). I enjoyed using the time log found at the companion website to discover where all my time was really going (what, you mean another week went by and I didn't get to xyz...??)

Some of my takeaways were the reminder to care well for ourselves and how to eliminate guilt and comparison, as well as choosing joy, cultivating community, and finding rest. The chapter on identifying my own personal self-care needs was especially insightful as well. Everyone is different when it comes to what energizes and drains us, so this was a wonderfully helpful section. I also appreciated the companion book club, videos, and social media connections for added support. All of that can be found here on the {in}courage website.

Although some of the author's suggestions were familiar, many I had not considered, and the practical suggestions combined with philosophical discussion was a very nice balance (haha)...

I'd encourage you to put this book on your 'wishlist' even if you can't get to it now... you won't be disappointed! I received the book as a free giveaway from {in}courage and am very grateful. I did not receive any compensation for this review - all ideas and opinions are my own.

For your wellness and God's glory,

Ruth

(Please consider using this linked image below to buy the book, at no additional charge, while supporting this blog...thank you!)

Belief in God's love {our fuel for the joy battle}

Weary in many ways, we walked into the church service yesterday and were greeted by a group of precious elementary aged children singing Jesus Loves Me. It had been so long since I'd heard those words, or rather, since I'd really listened. Their sweet introduction led the congregation into Tomlin's worship song with the same title, and I fought to hold the tears back. Sometimes life just feels like a fight, and without the proper fuel and armor, we are left naked in the battle. I was fueled by that simple reminder of God's love, and ironically, didn't hear much more of the service because I was not feeling well. God knew that, of course.

In her new book, Fight Back With Joy, author Margaret Feinberg drills down to the source of the joy we all long for, especially as we face trials: 

What is the genesis of this joy? I believe that, at its core, joy emanates from the abiding sense of God’s fierce love for us….When we embrace this love and cultivate an awareness of it, our hearts are filled with joy. Such awareness strengthens our resolve that no matter the fight, we face it confident that God is with us and for us. When we fight back with joy, we no longer size the character of God according to our circumstances, but we size our circumstances according to the character of God and his great affection for us… When we fight back with joy, we embrace a reality that is more real than what we’re enduring and we awaken to the deepest reality of our identity as beloved, joyful children of God."

I couldn't agree more! I have fought this battle to embrace God's love. In fact, it's at the core of my story. Letting go of my perfectionistic tendencies, and finding my hope and help in Christ, rather than my own abilities, has changed me body, mind and soul. No longer must I find my confidence in what others think of me, my achievements, or any other shaky ground. The firm foundation of God's love is the basis for the joy I experience now, and that can never be shaken.

I am a firm believer in the holistic nature of our body, mind and spirit, and passionate about encouraging women (and men) to pursue health and vitality that will encompass every part of their being. Joy is no small part of this pursuit towards wellness. The author knows this quite well, as she details in her book. She chose JOY to lead her fight against a cancer diagnosis, and surprised many at what a profound impact that choice made. We are not guaranteed health and wellness simply because we follow Christ, however, choosing to fight for joy can be one part of the remedy that leads us back to health in body, mind and soul. 

God finds delight in us, and delights to show up in our daily mundane schedule, often in remarkable ways. I have experienced the delight of this daily joy hunt over the last few years, and have seen what a profound impact that has had on every area of my life, health, relationships, and faith. Are we looking for God to show up? Are we creating, gathering, and spreading joy? This is part of 'cultivating an awareness of God's love', as mentioned in the quote above. I'd argue that self-care is part of that cultivation as well (but more on that in another post.)

Many of you may not believe that joy is a struggle for me, as I'll most likely greet you with a huge smile and a big hug, and have been told on numerous occasions what a joyful person I am. Hearing those comments brings ME joy, because it doesn't come easy. For any of you who have faced painful trials, you know the real depth of darkness they bring. I am not a stranger to that darkness. Perhaps you are in that place now, whether it is brought on by physical issues, life circumstances, or a struggle of faith.

It is so easy to give in to despair when life is hard, instead of seizing the day or rejoicing in the Lord, as the Word commands on numerous occasions. A former pastor often reminded us to avoid the Eeyore - Christian mentality (Eeyore is the pessimistic, stuffed donkey friend of Winnie the Pooh, if you're not up on children's literature :). In the words of C.S. Lewis, "Joy is the serious business of heaven." Our response to what life throws us will not only affect our lives, but those of onlookers. But don't take my word for it... pick up Feinberg's book, and dive into the meat of her search through hundreds of Scriptures on joy.

As Feinberg says, "Joy is more than a feeling; it's an action. We don't just sense joy; we embody it by how we respond to the circumstances before us." If you're facing any kind of darkness, or know someone who is, I'd highly recommend you pick up this book! Let that be your first action in the fight for joy. And then join me (and the author) in spreading that joy everywhere you go... it's contagious and irresistible!

Find Fight Back with Joy on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Or click here for the 6-session DVD Bible study, sure to encourage and inspire!

2013: A year to listen...

The calendar turns and I turn towards Christ, leaning in and asking what this year holds.  I don't expect specific answers, though that is always a relief, but rather I've been looking for the call He has on my year, if anything.  We, my sweet man and I, have prayed daily for God to lead and guide us.  And the answer still seems to be that we take things one. day. at. a. time.  I'm terrible at this.  I love to sprint ahead and figure it all out myself, to find the answers and apply them in my own strength.  But of course, you know this is not the way our Lord operates.  Quite the contrary!  Doing this separates me from my dear Savior, and leaves me flailing, as I struggle to clean up the messes I have inadvertently made.  [Not that I can speak from experience on this.... :) ]

But as I walked around the neighborhood this morning, enjoying the last few days of my break before school starts again, my emotions were swirling, and I beat down anger and disappointment with myself and life. Author David Seamands says emotions are an indicator of what is happening underneath the surface, and I believe it.  For me, when my emotions are soaring, or in the dumps, I have to listen to my God, my husband, my current lifestyle choices, and adjust accordingly.

LISTEN.  There's that word that most of us want to master, but often don't know how.  Or perhaps I speak for myself?  Before I got married, I prided myself in being an excellent listener.  But I quickly realized how much I needed to grow in this area!  Hashing over the same issues together, day in and day out, can be rewarding when a solution is found, but the process can be difficult... More than just listening to my husband, and my friends, there's a deeper goal I feel the Lord has put on my heart this year:  listening to Him.  This can sometimes be a controversial topic, when considering the charismatic church's viewpoints versus the more reformed thinkers.  But the common ground is found, of course, in meditating on the Word, and listening to God speak in that way.  This is my foundational source for listening to God, as I ask, seek and knock, and go about all my daily tasks and responsibilities.  Prayer and fellowship are absolutely crucial as well, a life-source for me every day.

But author Jan Meyers, in her book, Listening to Love, entices the reader with many more ways that we can 'listen' to God....perhaps subjective, in the minds of some, but I gain great wisdom from her discourse on the subject.  It's no surprise to you then, that I would pick this book up just a week ago, and then today have God lay the call to LISTEN on my heart.  Some of the topics in the book include: Listening to sorrow, our need, each other, reality, exhaustion, and beauty, among others.  I've read this book before, but am always drawn to it again when I need to gain new vision and direction on my life.  I'd encourage you to pick it up, in hopes that it would do the same for you.

Here's an excerpt, which will help you understand some of the main theme of the book:  "If your heart is even remotely like mine, you can trace the movements it goes through on the way to this confident expectation [following the Voice of Love to joy beyond our dreams]. We begin in a posture of uncertainty--Is it Jesus I hear, and even if it is, do I want to open the door? Here the question of our hearts sounds like this: Is it really you, Jesus?  When we have tentatively turned the knob to lean in or hear what he has to say, we move into the second posture.  Here we recognize that it is indeed Jesus on the other side of the door, but we also recognize that he can do whatever he wants with our life.  Oh no, it is you, Jesus.  And then, over time and tender experience, our hearts move into a posture of peaceful gratitude, knowing that something so much bigger than our understanding is unfolding, something for our good as well as for God's.  Finally our hearts relax with the unexpected, Oh good, it is you, Jesus."

I'm looking forward to hearing and watching God move in my life, and in my marriage this year, whatever that may look like.  And though I don't know what that will mean exactly, I feel ready to really listen, lay down my pride, and let it all unfold.  I've man (woman?)-handled my path too many times, and submitting to God's will is the best place to be.

Will you listen to His call this year?  What is your one word call for the year?

Blessings on you,
Ruth

Hope deferred, Joy found {and a review}

This weekend, one of my earthly hopes was deferred, again.  Maybe something you've been hoping in was not granted either.  If so, you understand the pain.  These things we hope for, they seem like good, godly things, right?  Is it wrong to hope for a loved one to accept the Lord, our character to be transformed, a child to be born, an elderly relative or neighbor to recover?  And the list goes on.  No, of course it is not wrong to wish for things, but it becomes wrong, misplaced hope, when our eyes are fixed on this more than on heaven, and the eternal life that is offered to us now through Christ.

Greetings from sunny Florida!

I love reading with my husband in the evenings, and this weekend, this book brought clarity to my discouraging situation.  I cannot do it justice, but if you are struggling to hope in Christ, I would strongly recommend this book.  Paul Tripp does not disappoint, and I was both challenged and convicted by his wise prose.  More than anything, I came away from this book with hope not only for eternity, but hope that is given in this life, through Christ.  You see, focusing our eyes on eternity makes all things come into perspective, and that is what had happened to me--I had lost perspective.  

Now I will say, my husband's silliness all weekend, intended to cheer me up, certainly helped as well.  (He is normally quite serious and I am the silly one.) I am so thankful for him, and the way he can help me see things with clarity.  Watching Emma together was also wonderful, as I know it was a big stretch from his preferred action-let's-see-how-many-things-we-can-blow-up movies!  

I trust God is shining joy into your days as well.

Enjoying our marriage journey

Blessings

Ruth

Ten Ways to Give Life to Your Home

Hello friends!  Its been a busy day here at our home; hubby is working from home and I am busy as well, cleaning closets, laundry and the like.  Sometimes it takes more than a little motivation for me to do household chores.  Gasp!  You too?  Because of that, I have a number of homemaking books that I'm reading that I will share with you over the next few weeks, and here's one that I am loving!  31 Days to Clean:  Having a Martha House the Mary Way was one that I was flipping through today (or scrolling through, I guess that would be, on my Ipod Kindle app)  It is a Kindle ebook and you can find it here at Amazon. I have only just started it, but find it to be very encouraging.  It is divided into 31 days/chapters, each with a devotional of sorts to help us ladies develop vision and meaning as to the WHY to keep a home, not just the HOW.  This is great for someone like me, who is not always the most organized!  When I know why I am doing something, it makes it so much more doable!  I'll leave you with what I read today, in hopes that it encourages you in your endeavor to be a life-giving woman to those in your home, whether married or single!

1) Retrain our tongues to give words that encourage, comfort and edify others.

2) Offer life-giving and grace-filled words to husbands and children.

3) Make our homes a place of grace where mistakes and sins are not met with anger but with love and hope.

4) Decorate our homes to make home a place of beauty.  Beauty raises life above mere existence.

5) Develop necessary cleaning skills and habits; clutter causes stress.

6) Face our anger, anxiety, fear and depression.  Our homes reflect our mental/spiritual/emotional health.  Ask the Lord to replace these emotions with faith and hope.

7) Plan regular times away from home to rejuvenate and gain perspective.

8) Persevere in planning fun activities for family on weekends or ordinary weekdays.

9) Play praise or worship music to lift everyone's spirits. (Even King Saul in the Bible, when the Holy Spirit had left him, was refreshed and calmed by David's worship.)

10) Ask the Lord:  What areas of my home are causing stress or bringing spiritual/emotional/mental 'deadness'?  What can I do to bring life to those places instead to make them a place of refuge?

"And if you give yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your gloom will become like midday.  And the LORD will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail." Isaiah 58: 10-11 

[The above passage got my attention because this is my 'life chapter'!]

Mary challenge:  Ask your family what makes them feel the most loved when it comes to caring for your home--ask them to be specific so that you can begin (or continue) to give life to your domain.

Martha challenge:  Kitchen:  Dust tops of refrigerator, cabinets, and shelves.  Clean and shine the outsides of drawers and cabinets.

[Each devotional is followed by a 'Mary' and a 'Martha' challenge]

I hope this gives you a boost today, whatever type of homemaking you might be tackling!

Go in the Grace of our Great King,

Ruth

The Foes of Grace

Hello blog friends.  It is nice to 'see you' here!  I trust you are having a great day.  It is another beautiful Florida day and I am wresting with some hard choices... but finding refreshment in the Word, wise counsel and prayer.  I am encouraged by a new book in my Kindle app, What Happens When Women Say Yes to God, by Lysa TerKeurst.  Last weekend, when I was tossing and turning, this book really stirred my heart.  It was an e-book freebie (my hubby is great at finding those!) and I suggest you look into it even if the cost has gone up by now.  Here is a {long but good} excerpt that encouraged me yesterday, concerning enemies of Grace:

photo credit

"Grace has two fierce foes, though--acceptance and rejection.  Imagine, for a moment, a tall, gated wall.  Puddles of mud dot the well-worn, barren ground.  It is evident that many have lingered here.  Two gatekeepers wish to detain you.  They wish to take your hand in friendship and have you remain on the outside of the wall.  All the while, Jesus is standing on the other side of the wall in an open field full of beauty and adventure.  So few have actually made it past the gatekeepers into this field that the blades of grass remain unbroken and the flowers unpicked.


The first gatekeeper is Acceptance.  He requires much of me.  He seems so enticing with his offerings of compliments and big promises.  But though he is fun for a moment, soon my mind is flooded with concerns of being able to continue to impress him.  I am quickly overwhelmed with pondering my interactions with others and keeping score on the table of comparison.


The second gatekeeper is Rejection.  He also requires much of me.  He seems appealing because he gives me permission to excuse myself from following my true calling.  Yet he demands that I pull back and shy away from the obedience for which my soul longs.  His whispered questions of 'What if?' and 'What do they think of you?' linger in my mind and influence my actions and reactions.


How do I deny the lure of these two gatekeepers of grace?  After all, I've tasted their laced fruit and, though I'm aware of their poison, I also crave their sweetness.  In my flesh I desire the praises of Acceptance and the excuses of Rejection.  The limelight of Acceptance shines on the pride that has yet to be driven from my heart.  The thought that I am really something denies the reality that, but for the grace of Christ, I am nothing.  The ease of settling for less is the pull of Rejection.  When I listen to him, I shrink back and pull inside myself.  I no longer want to press on.  I want to quit.  The thought that I am really nothing eclipses the reality that, because of the grace of Christ in me, I am a treasured something.  


Jesus is standing behind these two slick gatekeepers.  His arms are open, waiting to embrace and enfold me in the security of His truth.  His truth that I am accepted, no matter what.  No matter what choices I make, His love is not based on my performance.  His love is based on His perfect surrender at the cross.  But, I must choose to accept this love and walk this truth for it to make a difference in how I journey through life. "
This is where my heart is today, as I struggle with choices that will affect not only me, but others as well.  It is hard for me to put aside pleasing others, and choose first of all to please my Master, Jesus Christ and follow through on choices my husband and I have discussed.  Reading in Matthew 25:31-40 this morning was also a challenge for my current situation as I ask myself, 'What am I doing for the least of these?'....It is in sacrifice that we find our true joy, and this means putting aside my goals for the goals of the kingdom.  Our task is to repent of our sin, accept Grace, and make choices that value the cross of Christ our King.   


May we all seek first the kingdom of God, care for the needs of others, and put our own desires second to those of Christ our Savior.  Jesus is waiting for us on the other side of the gate!


Blessings on your day,
Ruth

On the Bookshelf

Good books keep me going....and here are a couple that have encouraged me lately.  Perhaps they will do the same for you!

I had a lovely time with several ladies this morning, as we discussed the many miracles described in this first book.  It was apparent after reading Stewart and Stewart's, Seven Miracles That Saved America, that God's hand of blessing has been on our nation.  It was particularly encouraging to me in this time of recession, political upheaval here and abroad, and general discouragement concerning the direction our nation is headed.  Many of these miracles were not a part of my American History knowledge, and no surprise there, as much of our history has been 'revised' by those who are set on erasing God from history.  HIS-story, not our story, may I add?  The story-telling in this book is excellent, and made me feel like I was a part of the scenes that were unfolding.  The book covers several hundred years of history, starting with Christopher Columbus, all the way to Ronald Reagan and others.  I would encourage you to pick this book up.  Though a little bit of a longer read, it is well worth it and will bring you hope that God can turn any dark time around for His glory and our good!

The second book was on a topic that I am wrestling through and seeking to grow in.  Have we discussed this?  I believe I have mentioned it briefly, but contentment is a struggle for me, so I was delighted when my sweet hubby sent this e-book to me a while back.  Contentment: A Godly Woman's Adornment is a beautiful book.  I have allowed this one to marinate in my soul and hopefully it has gone down deep into my fibers.  That is the goal!  If you struggle with contentment, or know someone who does, this book will be a blessing to you.  The author is very 'approachable' and made me feel like I was just over for tea, talking about my life and hers.  The book is laced with stories of Biblical women, modern-day women, and emphasizes both our struggle with sin and the need for hope.  This is a small little book at 112 pages, but you will want to take your time, pray as you read, and search your heart to discover what God may be speaking to you through the author's words.  This book is the second in the On-the-Go Devotional Series, covering several virtues in all (Joy, Purity, and Trust).  Check them all out--I may do the same!

What books are on your book shelf these days?  Please leave a comment if there is something good you'd like to share with the readers!

Blessings,
Ruth

***As a side note, I do not receive anything for reviewing these books, and I have opted not to participate in the Amazon Affiliate program, so the hyperlinks above are simply as a help to you!  RF

Books I'm Reading

Thought I'd say hello to all you who are surfing the web for deals today!  I am home, keeping busy with various things -- its amazing how dirty a little space can get with only two people-- can't imagine what adding kids would be like!  I have enjoyed some decorating projects also, and am hoping to get the place looking a little more like Christmas soon...

Nonetheless, I'm thankful for some time off of my morning tutoring job as the family is enjoying their holiday travels.  I was blessed to visit friends and family up north and meet my dear friends' new little boys from Ethiopia and my sister's little bundle of joy as well!  So thankful for cheap flights on Allegiant Air and the deal we got for our Blue Man tickets while on board!  (If you follow me on FaceBook, you can find the photos for that awesome show there :) 

I wanted to share some books I am reading and really enjoying.  Creative, Healing, and Holiday Joy are some ways I'd describe them.  To start with, you'll want to check out Madeline L'Engle's Walking on Water.  Her writing is deep, prose is beautiful, and her thinking is clear, cogent and challenging.  She pushes back the walls we put up to protect our faith in neat little boxes, with no mess, but sadly, oftentimes, no Christ, either.  The context is the joining of faith and art, and many different ways that these topics come together.  If you or someone you know is the creative type, or if you just want your Sunday-best faith to be challenged a little, I'd recommend this read!

The second book is a new one, by Renee Swope, entitled, A Confident Heart.  I picked it up at the recommendation of Ann V, one of my personal faves in the blog world, and I have not been disappointed.  If you know my story (and I promise to fill you in on that more eventually), you know I was always a very confident gal, until my world got turned upside down, and my faith and joy with it.  It's been a long process to get to the other side of that sovereignly planned crisis, so opening my heart up to the truths in Swope's book is like using a good exfoliator.  Can you relate, ladies?  It might burn a little, but it makes your skin shine and opens up the pores for your deep, luxurious creams?  Just like a good book that pricks at your heart and opens you up for the healing love of Christ, that cannot be counterfeited.  If you or someone you know is struggling to trust in God's goodness and move past pain, this might be a good one!

And lastly, another one from Ann Voskamp, only this is one that she put together herself, A Jesus Advent Celebration.  You can find it available for free printing and distribution for personal use at her website, A Holy Experience.  This Advent journey comes with ornaments and readings for every day of the month of December and although I've only used it since last year, it was such an encouragement to me that I hope it would be for you too.  If you don't have a Christmas Advent tradition, this might be one to try!

Well, that's all for now, but let me know if you decide on any of these books and what you think!  I'd be curious to know....

Blessings

Ruth

Good Reads...

1. My Mama Had a Dancing Heart...This is a children's book I found in our classroom stash while we were packing up, and it just warmed my heart! This is the kind of mom I want to be...one who celebrates each day and finds joy in the small things. Be sure to check it out if you are lacking joy right now.

2. Heaven is for Real...My husband and I just finished reading this book together, after it was loaned to us by a parishioner. It was so encouraging to hear the true story of

a young boy whose near-death experience afforded him an insider's view into heaven. I learned a lot, had my misconceptions about heaven destroyed, and was endeared to this sweet little boy and his story. A must-read!

3. The Relentless Tenderness of Jesus...I am currently working on this book that I read several years ago. It is even better the second time around! One topic that really spoke to me was the author's suggestion that many of us do not believe that God our Father actually 'likes' or enjoys us. He delves into this topic in a very compelling way, reminding us of our need to be softened by the Grace of God, among other topics. I find myself picking this one up at every free moment. Give it a try!

Feel free to post a comment on some of the books you are enjoying lately, as well...

Ruth

Coming Home to Joy (Padraig the dragon & marriage...)

Hello friends, it's your long-lost blogging friend!  I am swamped planning the party of a lifetime, also known as a wedding...I see the final tasks being crossed off, as friends and family come into town to celebrate with us.  One of the tasks was updating my blog and book review page before life changes, and as I re-read the very sweet Dragon and the Turtle, by Paul & Denmark, I saw some sweet parallels to where I've been, where I am, and where I am going.  Padraig the dragon has been playing pirates, as any young adventurous dragon might do, and has flown off course.  He is wanting to get home, but can't find the way home alone, which brings his new friend, Roger the turtle into the picture.  Roger listens faithfully to Padraig, and they set out on a journey to find home, filled with adventure, new surprises, and a new friendship.  There are many life-lessons in this book for your favorite youngster, most especially the need to reach out to others despite our own needs (Roger is hungry and Padraig is hard to please)...  I find myself in the middle of the story, with a dear friend, my Jesus, always helping me along the journey, caring about my deepest needs and most detailed requests.  Padraig is remembering the smells and sounds of his home, and we all are looking to our Home Eternal.  He eventually does get home, and I find myself nearing the end of my journey to find 'home'...at least on this earth.  On Sunday the crazy journey of waiting for just the right man to create a home with will end, and the next adventure will begin.  I suspect, just like Padraig found in Roger, I will find my eternal Friend to be just as faithful in this new journey, as well as the many loving friends and family who have helped to guide my steps these past few years.  Joy is a state of mind, but I am choosing it more and more...and it certainly helps to be 'coming home'!  Regardless of what the journey holds, we can always choose joy.  

Habakkuk Rejoices in the LORD

 ¹⁷Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, ¹⁸yet I will rejoice in the LORD; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. ¹⁹GOD, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places.

His ways are higher...

I'm reading a great book, recommended by a dear friend who you can find here, and also by my love.  It is challenging me, which I expected, but more deeply than I expected.  I know all these answers...marriage is not about me and my needs, marriage is for God, a chance to radically love someone other than myself. But I do not know these things in my heart, and that is what is getting pricked....as I read I recall the many ways I prefer myself over my love, the motivations behind so many choices, the selfishness that pervades every fiber of my being.  Here are some thoughts from my journal today:  Why do I have to do this?  Why do I so often try to live life apart from others, and in so doing, apart from You?  Please change this, Lord.  It is a dreadful curse that weighs me down, an awful sin that I can’t seem to name or be free of.  Perhaps this is why you are pushing me to marry…not because I am ‘in love’, or in need of a spiritual leader, or because I’m getting older, or for financial security…but because my soul drastically defaults towards independence and self-sufficiency…and living with another sinner is the only way to drive the SELF out of me.  I am thankful.  It’s time to start looking a whole lot more like You, Jesus! I will keep you posted on the journey....because I quite sure I am only getting started!

Choosing Gratitude

Why does this seem like such an impossible feat? Why do our hearts, or rather, why does my heart so often default to resentment over gratitude? There are a myriad of answers. Life has been 'unfair', some claim, so why trust God? Others are severely wounded, not having experienced the love their souls desperately need. The list is long and varied...but my answer is that our souls are sick....broken...in need of rescue from ourselves. Today, even, God offered a gift to my fiance and I, and I chose resentment and doubt over faith, trust, and thankfulness. Forgive me, Lord. I am anxious to grow in this area, and my vanguard in this quest is a dare to live fully, freely, unencumbered by the ugliness of this sin. You can follow along here as writer Ann Voskamp explores 'radical gratitude'.  I hope you are blessed as you see God changing your perspective as well as mine!  

Blogging for Books

Hello friends...
Just an update on a new endeavor I am starting in conjunction with WaterBrook/Multnomah Publishing, out in Colorado Springs.  It's a great deal, really.  I get to read free books (which you know I love to do), and possibly win awesome prizes!  If you are a book-lover too, please check out their new and improved book review program at this link:  http://www.waterbrookmultnomah.com/bloggingforbooks/.  
I will be posting reviews on this blog, and if you'd like, you can click on the green gadget over to the side of the page and it will link you to a site where you can rank my review!  (The more high ranks I get, the better chance I have of winning something cool, like a Kindle or other e-reader.)  What's in it for you?  Well, I'd love to say I'll be giving out free book copies, but this feature of the program is still up for discussion.  I will get back to you if W/M Publishing allows us to send out free copies to all you loyal blog readers in the future.  In the meantime, I hope you enjoy some thoughts on what's new in the Christian publishing industry.  My first book to review is a children's book, God Loves Me More Than That, by Dandi Daley Mackall.  Maybe a child in your life would like a copy for Christmas!  Blessings to you on this blustery, winter day!  RP

Confessions of a Book Addict, part 2

You've got to get this book (Permission to Speak Freely).  "I'm just saying."  (Who says that?  I think I stole that phrase from one of my friends...)  But really, this book is a keeper.  What's not to love?  Anne Jackson's striking honesty, the book's numerous artful confessions from her blog (http://flowerdust.net) and book website (http://www.permissiontospeakfreely.com), and the challenge to be real among sometimes stuffy and legalistic 'church people'.  You know them.  We all do.  We've all BEEN them, in fact.  Hiding behind a pretense, covering up the obvious because of pride, shame, or fear, and consequently not embracing the true Life of Christ, to which we all have access as believers.  There's not much more I can say, except READ IT.  She stole this line from Tim Keller,  "Pharisees repent of their sins, but Christians repent for the very roots of their righteousness, too."   Wow.  I suppose I also relate to her, as she grew up a PK like me, has some similar health challenges (darn those silly chemical imbalances), and thinks true Christian community is something worth fighting for.  I was challenged, encouraged, and left wanting to be more real, not even for my own sake, but for the sake of my Christian brothers and sisters.  I hope you have the same experience!  Jesus, make us, your followers, 'real' people, not given to pretense, or the 'Pharisee-syndrome' that plagues us all.  Forgive us for the times we have hidden from You and your people.  Open up our hearts and make us new!  Amen.  (And a special thanks to my love, for suggesting it, and feeding my book habit.)

J is for Jesus...and Joyful...

He's always listening.  Jesus, that is.  I spent my 50-minute commute to work this morning listening to the beginning of Francis Chan's Forgotten God, 

in audio-book format (yes, another way to feed my addiction) :)  It brought many things to my mind, but most of all, left me with a sense of God's presence as I entered the day, that I have not felt in a while.  I couldn't put my finger on why I was having such a 'good day' (translation:  Jesus-day), but by the end of the day, I remembered that I had very briefly prayed or maybe even just had the thought:  "I would like Jesus to restore my joy"... Apparently, He was listening.  Nothing was able to steal my joy today, which is a feat, considering the challenges that 12 students with behavioral, emotional, spiritual, and academic issues bring me every day.  I found myself laughing where I would normally be frustrated, and offering love and grace where selfishness usually takes up residence.  None of this is my doing, let's be clear!  The chocolate stash in my desk remained relatively untouched (a must-have for those crazy days) and I went home singing in my soul.  The kids are just so darn cute, honestly, and many of them don't have a single soul who loves them like Jesus would have them to be loved.  This verse regularly comes to my mind, when I look on their (sometimes) innocent faces, and realize how broken and in need of genuine love they are:   

Matthew 18:6 (NIV) 

⁶But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.

"Let me not be the one to cause them to sin, Lord!," I think, as I go throughout the day.  But rather, "May I show them just a glimpse of the perfect love you have shown me, time and time....and time....again."  I do have to leave you with just one 'funny':  I just couldn't resist coming back with a silly response to one student today...I asked him why he was 'gobbling' when he should have been doing his work..."Are you a turkey?  Is this a farm?,"  I was a bit frustrated, but seriously, he couldn't have been cuter.