Six guidelines to renew healthy habits in a life-giving way

I hope you found some time to relax and refresh your soul this weekend! 

Weekends provide a chance to breath a sigh of relief and recover from the busy pace of life... for many, this includes relaxing our diligence in maintaining healthy habits. 

photo credit

Maybe some ice cream, movies & popcorn, and this chocolate find their way in the schedule too, hypothetically speaking, of course! All of these are OKAY, good even. But then Monday rolls around, and we realize that perhaps we've given ourselves a little too much fudge room, and quite literally eaten too much fudge! How do you respond? [Aside from trying this healthier recipe next time - wink, wink...]

As a recovering perfectionist, my gut reaction to weekend breaks in excellent self-care is to just. try. harder. when Monday stares me in the face. It usually starts out quite innocently, with the adoption of a new goal or motivation that looks positive, but when approached in my own strength, actually kills my soul. As a friend likes to ask me, how's that workin' for you? The answer is, it doesn't work, at least not for long! Taking a look at the words of Christ or the writings of Paul will clearly explain where our power for living comes from as believers - and it's not from within ourselves!

What I have discovered is that accepting grace for my failures and imperfections will fuel me in a way that bootstrapping never will. 

And so, may I suggest a few grace-based guidelines to renew healthy habits in a life-giving, not soul-crushing way? Read on...

1. Realize our worth is always in Christ, not in our performance; we cannot live godly lives unless we accept his lavish love.

2. Acknowledge the grace of God as our power for living (verses here, here, and here).

3. Refuse to compare ourselves to others (or even other seasons in our own lives!). "Comparison is the thief of joy." (free printable to enjoy and be reminded).

4. Treat ourselves with grace and kindness.

5. Find strength in God + Christian community to start over.

6. Thank God for the growth and victory he has allowed in our lives previously.

As I think back on my weekend, I feel pretty good about the 5k we completed, but not so great about the decent bit of ice cream I ate (and thoroughly enjoyed) afterwards, or the fact that I didn't get any cleaning, meal planning, or budgeting done this weekend like I had hoped. But you know what I did do? I experienced the grace of a Father (and a husband) who love me no matter how well I perform. Accepting that grace and rest filled up my heart, and because of that, I am confident that I can face this new week, which includes daily care for the temple of the Holy Spirit (my body) that I have been gifted.

May the free grace of God empower you to love and live for him with all your heart, soul, mind and strength this week!


Ruth

Links & reflections for a lovely spring weekend

Y'all. It was so beautiful outside today! Yes, that is y'all worthy, even though I should technically be saying youins, yinz or youse guys, considering that I now live in Pennsylvania :-) Regardless, when you have dealt with snow and chilling temps for months, you can't help but be thrilled with gentle spring days. It's a happy feeling you can't understand unless you just faced a winter season in every sense of the phrase. This happy-spring feeling is also touching deeper parts inside me, and colliding with a certain hope that even though nothing is in full bloom (in nature or our circumstances), we see God on the move, small changes happening, and light shining in previously dark places. It's something worth celebrating! Add to that the fact that Easter + our anniversary were this month, and we've got quite a bit to celebrate...{smile} That's okay with me, as I've always been a fan of prolonged celebrations - what would Jesus do, right? But it would be only half the truth if I didn't admit it was a hard week with difficult news in our personal life that brought me to my knees. So thankful for a Father's love that woos, comforts, and satisfies me when nothing else can. The mixed blessing of pain is the joy that follows close behind! He knows exactly what each of us need and sends glimpses of love and hope at just the right time.

Here are some sweet joys around the web that have been an encouragement to me lately:

Make your own kefir (easy way to start fermenting at home - we're loving it!)

Emily Freeman on 3 Ways to Determine Success (not what you think)

Interstellar trailer - I'm not the sci-fi fan in our home (big surprise)... However, this movie has a very interesting storyline and subtle redemptive themes...see what you think?

Music - I Am Not Alone (Kari Jobe) and You Make Me Brave (Amanda Cook and Bethel Music)

Nine Natural Cleaning Recipes - Mama And Baby Love (ingredients needed are vinegar + baking soda + castile soap + essential oils - side bonus - cleaning is much more enjoyable without the nasty fumes)

Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study on What Happens When Women Walk in Faith  (Lysa TerKeurst) - Having a great time with this, and learning so much...

Strawberries - been devouring these lately (with kefir above) - some good reasons why you should too...


Warm Kale Salad - new recipe for our Easter dinner - and friends... I. am. in. love!

Sweet Potato, Cranberry & Quinoa Power Bowl - a bit more time-consuming than the kale salad, but really worth it! (Husband-approved)

Young Living Valor oil - apply to feet or diffuse at night for sleep aid - one of the many essential oils I've been enjoying lately (thanks, Lydia!)

May the Spirit of God fill you with hope, joy & peace as you rest in Him!

Join me for the Winter Bloom Book Club :: The Fringe Hours

Hey friends!

Just a quick post to let you know that I'm still alive, haha, and have something great to share! Do you feel like your schedule is bursting at the seams? Do you wish you had more time for yourself, or even any at all? Do you constantly juggle several responsibilities and roles, and yet never feel like you can keep up?

This could be the book for you. I received a free copy of Jessica Turner's new book, The Fringe Hours: Making Time for You, and today is the first day of the (in}courage Winter Bloom Book Club!

Here is the schedule at this link.

You can view the first video book discussion below. Please join us! I can add you to the secret Facebook page for the group as well, just request that in the comments or send me an email at ruthlessloveblog@gmail.com. No guilt here for taking a few minutes a day to do something for yourself. I am so passionate about godly self-care and pray this book and online club can be a time of refreshment for all of us!

XOXO Ruth

Taking a break...

Hello readers and friends, 

It's the Sabbath and I'm thinking about how to find refreshment in the Lord, and in all areas of my life.  I'm surfing through blogs I like to read because that's so refreshing, right??  Not really.  Reading blogs can be helpful, but oftentimes, looking at blogs and social media can make me envious, exhausted, and feeling badly about who God has made me in Christ.  Not exactly the best recipe for a restful Sunday!  

I was also reflecting that though I enjoyed writing most days in October for the 31 day series on praising God, it sometimes felt forced.  Not coming out of who I really am.  Doing something like this should not be an obligation, but a source of joy and refreshment.  So with the holidays coming up, I'm going to take a break from blogging.  I want to focus on serving my husband, friends, family and church, and also taking care of myself.  I want to encourage you to take the pressure off of yourself in areas where you are doing something you don't need to be doing.  Who are you trying to impress?  Who am I trying to impress?  

"Do you think I speak this strongly in order to manipulate crowds? Or curry favor with God? Or get popular applause? If my goal was popularity, I wouldn’t bother being Christ’s slave. Know this—I am most emphatic here, friends—this great Message I delivered to you is not mere human optimism. I didn’t receive it through the traditions, and I wasn’t taught it in some school. I got it straight from God, received the Message directly from Jesus Christ." Galatians 1: 10-12 (MSG)

I'm not sure when I'll be signing back on, but whoever you are out there, find comfort in the grace offered by Christ to you.  "For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast." --Ephesians 2:8-9 

This holiday season, let's all find ways to accept the GIFT of GRACE from God.  Not only for our salvation, but in every area of our lives.  

By Grace,

Ruth

Praise the God of Rest {Day 24}

Hello friends.  Can you imagine quiet music, no one pulling for your attention, an afternoon nap...wishful thinking?  It may not have happened for you today, but God can provide the rest your soul needs, even in a moment.  Praise Him for the soul-rest He promises, even in the busiest of days.  You don't need an hour alone to know the Rest of your Savior.  He says to come.  Bring your tired, weary heart, and pour it out to Him, even as you go about your daily tasks.  He will lighten your load and carry you through the trial in front of you.  

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."  - Matthew 11:28-29

Praise to the Living Water {Day 14}

John 6:35 - Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty.

I am hesitant to say anything more.  I am the chief of sinners in regards to allowing worldly things to fill my soul.  What are those things that you run to before Jesus?  Take a day away from those things, a week if you can.  I couldn't believe how my soul opened up to God when I had a few days away from a certain joy.  Good things can certainly rob our souls from the true joy found in Christ.

Enjoy the video and drink deep of Christ!

Resting in His furious love...{and a look at my bookshelf}

Life for me, these past few weeks, has been a series of layers....layers of my heart being peeled back by my Savior, as I give up fears, insecurities, and desires, in exchange for His plans, purposes, and rest for me.  It has been difficult, incredible, and unexpected.  I didn't suppose that I'd find myself in a restful state, as life swirled around me, threatening to pull me into the fray.  It's really quite a miracle, nothing I could have accomplished on my own.  Several books have led me down this journey, and I will share them with you here....

It all started with the book, Anything: The Prayer That Unlocked My God and My Soul .  Author Jennie Allen takes us down the path she traveled when she and her husband started praying that they would do 'anything' that God led them into.  It is a scary thing to pray, but also a wonderful journey of surrender on which to embark!  However, something in my flesh rose up and motivated me to 'do more' as I read this.  Instead of seeing this as God beckoning me to more joy in Him and the adventure He has planned for my life, I started dreaming of all I could do for God, and hoping He'd ask me to do something amazing.  Underlying that was a desire for my own glory, rather than His.  I am also reading Don't Waste Your Life , by John Piper, which heightened my desire to see God glorified, rather than myself, and brought on much confession, but still I felt a need to 'do more'.  I continued reading these books, but also picked up Holley Gerth's, You're Already Amazing: Embracing Who You Are, Becoming All God Created You to Be .  I found this to be a huge encouragement, as I realized God was not asking for more of me, but He was awakening what He has already put inside me, to use for His glory, and not my own.  I don't have to try harder!!  As I reflected on the end of my school year, I picked up Awakened: Change Your Mindset to Transform Your Teaching , and realized that I can break free from the negative thought life that often plagues me....oh what sweet relief...but again, this can't be done in my own strength!  God and His power, sufficiency, and perfect timing must all be the motivators.

The book that is really ministering to me now, however, is one I have read before, but turned to again these past few days as I've grieved over losing my grandmother so suddenly--Brennan Manning's, The Furious Longing of God .  I've struggled with self-imposed, false guilt that I could have done more for her, that somehow I had not given enough, despite all the affirmation I've received from friends and family to the contrary.  I shouldn't find it surprising that this book is changing my understanding of Jesus and His Gospel of Grace, as prior to picking it up, I was praying that God would deepen my understanding of the Gospel.  Oh, how He answers!  One particularly moving section refers to the story of Don Quixote and Aldonsa (also known as Dulcinea) as He compares this to the healing power and love Christ offers us....which, once experienced, can flow into the lives of others and profoundly mark their lives.

I am thankful for summer days, in which I can linger over words, listen to beautiful piano music, relax by the pool, and enjoy the company of friends and family.  But more than that, I am eager to see how God uses these days of rest to impact the busyness that will resume when the weather cools and life gets back to 'normal'.  Walking closely with Christ always transforms, and I'm thankful for the ladies I'm walking with through this journey in our Anything book study, one-on-one times with dear friends old and new, and of course heart-to-hearts with my love, and life companion, sweet Paul.

Thanking Jesus for Grace....Resting in His love...and wishing the same for you....

Ruth

{The book links in this post are 'affliate links'; if you purchase any of the books using those links, I will receive a small portion of the sale.  Thank you for supporting my writing efforts!}

A very Good Friday

Hello friends!

I've enjoyed my Spring Break from school...hanging out with friends and family, getting things done at home, a surprise anniversary gift for my hubby (2 years next week!!), and schoolwork. :)

My Mom and I at Blue Springs park in January

I'm looking forward to having guests over for Easter and enjoying this meaningful day together.  Shout out to my mom who helped us develop a love for this special day with all sorts of fun memories like egg hunts, thoughtful readings and music for church, and of course, the extravagant meal.  I'm just happy that I figured out how to make a roasted chicken and veggies that seems to turn out well :)  Don't get me wrong, I love cooking and experimenting in the kitchen, but holidays can overwhelm me.  I put all these expectations on myself for Martha Stewart perfection, all the while hoping for a perfectly godly attitude.  Hard to do...impossible, actually!  :)  I've been resting in the perfection of Christ on my account, and it is so freeing.  I'm also learning that my joy is not wrapped up in my happiness....more on that to come.

Here is a link to a recent post on the Letters to my Sisters blog that I also write for.  Loving speech is a topic I really struggle with, and holidays and busy times can make that even more difficult.  I hope that it encourages you to know that the perfection of Christ expressed for us on the Cross covers over our sins completely and fully.  I tear up thinking about it.  To know that the fullness of my sin and yours crushed him, and He did that simply to have relationship with us?  Hard to comprehend and accept, but if you have not claimed this gift for yourself, please run to Jesus and have that conversation with Him.  Why did You do it?  Why did You choose me?  How can I live my life for You in return?  It will be the best decision you EVER make.

We adore you, Jesus, and bow at your feet with humble gratitude, on this very, very Good Friday.

Ruth

He giveth and giveth and giveth....again.

This is not my video, but it captures so well the grace that God has showered on me over the years....

{Writing again with the Five Minute Friday gang .....click here.} 

I woke with a list of all the things I needed to do to earn God's favor this day.  Surprised that I phrased it that way?  I am too.  Is it wrong to have a list of items we need to accomplish?  Of course not.  But I lose sight of God's mercy when I have my good-girl attitude about how all my praying, and serving, and loving will make me feel about myself and my life as a Christian.  I see this in my classroom too, as it is hard to draw the line between doing things that will make me feel like a good teacher, vs. doing what will actually help the kids feel loved and to grow in their knowledge and character.  Quite a difference, I think.  But back to the list.  The list that grows as I grow in my passion to 'do' rather than 'be'.  And as it grows, my confidence in God and His gracious mercy shrinks.  Instead, today I will embrace the request of my husband as he walked out the door this morning:  'try to enjoy your day honey, don't give yourself a tension headache again.' There's that word:  AGAIN.  I give myself a headache over and over, as I recite my imperfections, rather than reciting the words of Christ as he showers mercy on me:  "Come unto me, all who are weary and heavy laden, and I will give you rest." I have to remind myself of this over and over, again and again.  The day will always start with a list....and I will see again, as I close each day, that He giveth and giveth and giveth again.  

Words to the cherished hymn from Annie Flint:

He giveth more grace as our burdens grow greater,
He sendeth more strength as our labors increase;
To added afflictions He addeth His mercy,
To multiplied trials He multiplies peace.
When we have exhausted our store of endurance,
When our strength has failed ere the day is half done,
When we reach the end of our hoarded resources
Our Father’s full giving is only begun.
Fear not that thy need shall exceed His provision,
Our God ever yearns His resources to share;
Lean hard on the arm everlasting, availing;
The Father both thee and thy load will upbear.
His love has no limits, His grace has no measure,
His power no boundary known unto men;
For out of His infinite riches in Jesus
He giveth, and giveth, and giveth again.

Innocent question, terrible theology...

It was an innocent question, but very 'American'.  I was trying to get out the door from a late night at church and still feeling dazed from a hard few days.  "Are you ready for Christmas?, " she said so innocently...My husband and I, well, we answered as best we could, but I easily read his expression, his true thoughts.  We have different ideas about decorating, celebrating and enjoying Christmas, he being more practical and myself, well, a bit more creative and also more of a spender (sorry, dear.)  I felt badly that this usually very reasonable and kind lady teased my love about being a 'scrooge,' and I also left frantically making lists in my head of all that 'needed' to be done to be 'ready' for Christmas...

What does it really mean to be ready for Christmas?  In the eyes of this woman, well, she was referring to all the busyness that ensues come October 31st.  [Yes, I'm guilty too...the Christmas music started in our home that day!]  My heart lifts when I think of all the pretty Christmas things, the people to buy for,  how to make the perfect Christmas card, and sadly, what gifts might come my way too...  Add school and church into the mix...Christmas plays, events, gifts, and lessons to help the little ones feel festive, loved, 'happy'.  But what about their souls?  What about mine?  

I've found myself leaning into the heart of the Lord a little more than usual this Christmas.  Certainly not because I am 'more spiritual' than any other woman.  No, it's simply because I feel my need, see my many imperfections.  I desperately wait for my Savior to fill up the gaps that I feel, the ache for more than this life can offer.  I find myself wondering what would bless Jesus on this, HIS birthday season.  I'm guessing it's not all the fuss and bustle.  I don't have any good answers, but simply a soul-searching that brings me back to my main callings...to love my God, my man, and...? Period.  Could that be enough?  What would it look like for me to ready my heart to love Jesus better, to love my husband better?  I want so badly to be there.  

My thoughts drift to the participants in the very first Christmas.  How did Mary prepare for Christmas?  Was she terrified, excited, hopeful?  Perhaps all.  What about Joseph?  Could he have struggled to trust God with the call to his new family?  How would he protect and provide?  The wise men who came expectant, and the shepherds who didn't plan at all, simply received.  And Jesus, He came.  He came to them, to all of us, whether we are ready....or not.  In years past, I have 'missed' His appearance, being distracted by the trappings of the American Christmas.  This Christmas, I bring my heart, in need of the Savior that offers Himself to us in a messy stable, uncertain times.  Here I am with my messy heart, doubts, uncertain and fearful times.  All I must do is receive?  I think perhaps, that is the best gift I can give my Savior....just to receive.  

The embrace of the Master

source

Sitting down to journal today, after realizing some anger, bitterness, and demands in my heart....

"Lord God, You owe me nothing, and yet You give me everything.  I owe you everything, and have nothing to give.  I wish praise and thanks naturally came to my lips.  Forgive me for my negativity, anger, despair.  I often look at my circumstances, and not to You.  You are able to do all things, Lord..."

As I sat and thought of the many times God has pulled me from a miry pit, this picture came to my mind...

"It is a blessing that I can lift my eyes from the pit, to the blazing sunshine of your face that is looking down on me.  I know you have compassion on us, as we struggle in many ways...and I see you reaching your hand down to us, your mighty right hand.  Lord, we call on you everyday...but perhaps we are asking for the wrong things...?"  

"We ask for wisdom, for vision, for children, for vocational success, for health and salvation for our families...and I see a tear fall from your eye as we push you away (Oh, how you long to gather us like chicks under your wing!)  Your tears wet the parched desert of my soul, and I see clearly.  The mirage of Grace is now the feast before me.  You have invited me to dine with you.  It's not an ordinary feast--no meat, cheese, vegetables, fruit or wine.  No, I see platters of contentment, goblets of joy, baskets of thankfulness and hope, bowls of peace."

"I listen as you tell stories of our Father, how He has carried so many out of the miry pit where I once lived.  I feel the warmth of Your smile as you fill the lamps with the oil of the Holy Spirit.  You take my grimy robes, and I unwrap a gown that glimmers with your glory.  You come to my chair, take my hand, and lead me to the marble dance floor.  The music and dance are unfamiliar, and the spins and dips take my breath, and fears, away.  The pit seems miles away; nothing can convince me to return to that place of death.  I follow your gentle, but firm, lead and realize that I am no longer lost, simply lost in the embrace of my Master...."

Lose yourself in His love, my friend. 

Turn your eyes upon Jesus,
Look full in His wonderful face,
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim,
In the light of His glory and grace.

Blessings,
Ruth