Check out my new blog!

Hello friends,
I realized that those of you reading over here may not be aware of my new blog, Nourished by Grace, where I have been writing for a few months. My apologies, but delay no more! I hope you will jump over there, take a look, and be blessed by this new direction that God is taking me. Think of it not as a totally new direction, but rather a slightly more focused approach to how the Gospel applies to self-care, relationships, and overall health. These are ideas that I've often written about here, but I hope that this new focused approach will make the Gospel as it relates to these areas a refreshing balm to your soul, as it is to mine.

Blessings to you!

Ruth

Sabbath is for you too {no matter how your week went}

Your week was probably very full. Mine too. Sunday arrives, and we think to ourselves - another week starts tomorrow, and I really need to get on top of XYZ if I'm going to feel 'ready' for Monday! This past weekend, I had worked hard to get most everything done on Saturday, so I could rest on Sunday. The afternoon was open to spend time with my man, read, journal, and then a Bible study / yoga class in the evening. I had a perfect plan to get the rest I needed. But then life happened. My tires needed to be rotated, we had waited too long already, and didn't want the tires to be damaged by waiting longer. So... I reluctantly agreed to give up my perfectly planned afternoon to go with my hubby and take care of my car. Grrr... I thought, this day is not going how I was hoping! My stress and anxiety level started to rise, and I instantly thought of the few things I still had to get done before Monday, which otherwise would not have been a problem had this need arose. Getting the tires done took much longer than we expected, and before I knew it, the afternoon was ticking away. When we finally got ready to go, I was a mess of tears and anxiety. "I didn't get everything done OR rest like I wanted to this weekend!" I lamented to my husband. I immediately planned on pushing aside the short amount of time I had to do restful things, so that I could be 'productive' and 'feel good about a new week starting'...

But as a good and loving Father would have it, and with the encouragement of my husband, I listened to the nudging within to let the dishes sit, forget about vacuuming, and not worry about the receipts that hadn't been entered. As I moved forward with the plans for rest I so needed (starting with a Starbucks date together (insert grin - isn't he sweet?)), Jesus reminded me that Sabbath is a gift for us all, regardless of what we have accomplished in the time leading up to it, what happens in our schedule, or who enters into our day unexpectedly.

Peace comes from connecting with God and allowing our souls to breathe, not by perfectly aligning our schedules and circumstances, or completing to-do lists.

I'm letting go of the idea that I have to perform well in order to 'earn' a day of rest. Perhaps you need to hear that too, and live in that freedom? Taking a day, or even a few hours of rest, is a gift from our Father - will you accept it this weekend? Let's let go of the expectations we have for ourselves and for others. Sabbath is a 'hard stop' to everything that tugs at us, everything that competes for our peace and joy. Sabbath is a time to do things that refresh us, whether that be creative, relational, entertaining, or simply quieting our minds and social connections online to make space for God. There's no formula! I have learned that it is okay, yes important to set aside time once a week (at least) to do something I enjoy and look forward to, even if it feels like a 'waste' of time. The love and grace of God, when understood and fully embraced, will always look and feel incredibly lavish and wasteful, in a sense. We will never deserve the gifts of God, so let's all commit together to receive from the Lord for a few moments today, a few hours this weekend, or even extended time away with those we love - without feeling guilty!

As it turns out, not only did our tires need rotation and general maintenance, but there was a nail in one tire! Letting go of my plans saved me from getting stuck on the side of the road, and that surely would have been a stressful Monday!! In just the same way, when we let go of our plans, and embrace the 'regular maintenance' and refreshment of a weekly Sabbath, we are able to quiet our hearts and see the deeper issues in our hearts, health, and relationships. Wouldn't you prefer to avoid a bigger issue that could have been helped with a little preventative care? Rest is what prepares and fuels us for a new week, not being productive. 

Sabbath is for you too, friend. It's for me, it's for all of us, regardless of whether we think we deserve it or not. 

Embraced by his lavish love, 

Ruth

Links for additional refreshment and joy from around the web: 

Blogger Lisa-Jo Baker & husband Peter bought their first home - at 40 - and what she learned as she waited - we are ALL waiting on something; this might be the word you need to hear. I know I did!

The Day I Realized I Had a Job (Hope*ologie Podcast from May 2, 2015 - encouragement to prioritize and adjust your life to make room for creative endeavors...)

The Big Boo podcast (Southern mom bloggers Big Mama and Boo Mama - I hope you laugh your head off! I know I certainly do every time I listen!! :-)

Living Well Spending Less - I've been waiting for this book to go on sale and it did this week, yay!! (sorry if you missed it, but go buy it anyway!) You won't be disappointed. 

No time for self-care? The Fringe Hours could change that! {book review}

I was recently blessed to be part of an online study for Jessica Turner's book, The Fringe Hours, and
trust me... it couldn't have come at a better time! The months of March - April proved to be a very full time (sharing a car, both of us working more hours, visitors, new health challenges). Many of those things were good (or had hidden blessings - like more time together on our shared commute), but a full schedule can certainly make it hard to find time for yourself. If you are anything like me, it is so easy to put everyone and everything else ahead of my own health and happiness. It can be challenging to know what godly service looks like - aren't we called to put others before ourselves? YES, of course... but does that mean that we completely ignore our own needs? Of course not. I value self-care and holistic health, but when it comes down to everyday life, I'm no different than any of you... how in the world do we find time to do it? Many of you have kids, work in some capacity, volunteer, and more I'm sure! Do you ever get to the end of the day, put your head on the pillow, and realize that you did absolutely nothing for yourself all day? This book will help you learn how to utilize your 'fringe hours' to change that...

Jessica's book is divided into four parts :

1. Explore (discussion of balance, self-imposed pressures, and how to eliminate guilt and comparison)
2. Discover (delves into ways to shift our perspective about self-care, what activities actually help each of us rest and recover personally, an exploration of past joys, starting a dream board, and actually finding the time to do all this!)
3. Maximize (how to prioritize activities, time management and efficiency, admitting the need for, as well as finding, help...and how to overcome common obstacles)
4. Live Well (valuing and cultivating community, what is rest and how to find it, and finally, choosing joy and living well)

An appendix also contains some 'extras' like The Fringe Hours Manifesto, survey results (the author surveyed more than 2000 women from all 50 states and more than 30 countries!) and a companion website with more goodies (www.fringehours.com). I enjoyed using the time log found at the companion website to discover where all my time was really going (what, you mean another week went by and I didn't get to xyz...??)

Some of my takeaways were the reminder to care well for ourselves and how to eliminate guilt and comparison, as well as choosing joy, cultivating community, and finding rest. The chapter on identifying my own personal self-care needs was especially insightful as well. Everyone is different when it comes to what energizes and drains us, so this was a wonderfully helpful section. I also appreciated the companion book club, videos, and social media connections for added support. All of that can be found here on the {in}courage website.

Although some of the author's suggestions were familiar, many I had not considered, and the practical suggestions combined with philosophical discussion was a very nice balance (haha)...

I'd encourage you to put this book on your 'wishlist' even if you can't get to it now... you won't be disappointed! I received the book as a free giveaway from {in}courage and am very grateful. I did not receive any compensation for this review - all ideas and opinions are my own.

For your wellness and God's glory,

Ruth

(Please consider using this linked image below to buy the book, at no additional charge, while supporting this blog...thank you!)

Links & reflections for a lovely spring weekend

Y'all. It was so beautiful outside today! Yes, that is y'all worthy, even though I should technically be saying youins, yinz or youse guys, considering that I now live in Pennsylvania :-) Regardless, when you have dealt with snow and chilling temps for months, you can't help but be thrilled with gentle spring days. It's a happy feeling you can't understand unless you just faced a winter season in every sense of the phrase. This happy-spring feeling is also touching deeper parts inside me, and colliding with a certain hope that even though nothing is in full bloom (in nature or our circumstances), we see God on the move, small changes happening, and light shining in previously dark places. It's something worth celebrating! Add to that the fact that Easter + our anniversary were this month, and we've got quite a bit to celebrate...{smile} That's okay with me, as I've always been a fan of prolonged celebrations - what would Jesus do, right? But it would be only half the truth if I didn't admit it was a hard week with difficult news in our personal life that brought me to my knees. So thankful for a Father's love that woos, comforts, and satisfies me when nothing else can. The mixed blessing of pain is the joy that follows close behind! He knows exactly what each of us need and sends glimpses of love and hope at just the right time.

Here are some sweet joys around the web that have been an encouragement to me lately:

Make your own kefir (easy way to start fermenting at home - we're loving it!)

Emily Freeman on 3 Ways to Determine Success (not what you think)

Interstellar trailer - I'm not the sci-fi fan in our home (big surprise)... However, this movie has a very interesting storyline and subtle redemptive themes...see what you think?

Music - I Am Not Alone (Kari Jobe) and You Make Me Brave (Amanda Cook and Bethel Music)

Nine Natural Cleaning Recipes - Mama And Baby Love (ingredients needed are vinegar + baking soda + castile soap + essential oils - side bonus - cleaning is much more enjoyable without the nasty fumes)

Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study on What Happens When Women Walk in Faith  (Lysa TerKeurst) - Having a great time with this, and learning so much...

Strawberries - been devouring these lately (with kefir above) - some good reasons why you should too...


Warm Kale Salad - new recipe for our Easter dinner - and friends... I. am. in. love!

Sweet Potato, Cranberry & Quinoa Power Bowl - a bit more time-consuming than the kale salad, but really worth it! (Husband-approved)

Young Living Valor oil - apply to feet or diffuse at night for sleep aid - one of the many essential oils I've been enjoying lately (thanks, Lydia!)

May the Spirit of God fill you with hope, joy & peace as you rest in Him!

Grace for the messy middle

I usually write about what I know, but today I will write about what I don’t know. I don’t know what I’ll eat tomorrow, when we’ll need new tires, and I certainly didn't know who would win the Super Bowl. I don’t know where her life is going, or how he’ll respond to my words. Honestly, I don’t know what God is doing in my own heart & life much of the time. What if it is better that we know so little about the future? Could it be merciful of God to show us such a small part of where our story, or a friend’s, is going? Why do we desperately grasp for control, when we are assured so little? How can we live into the mystery without being paralyzed by our lack of control? 

I love this quote, but find it much harder to live:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” -Rainer Maria Rilke

Living into the mystery of life, one day at a time, and letting go of control, can be liberating. You won’t find a formula for this peaceful, contented and messy life. By nature, we humans like things to be defined, black and white, bottled up and sold for a reasonable price. Honoring the mystery and unresolved nature of life…is a sacred journey. Embracing grace as we take slow steps forward, and many more backward. I am often harsh with myself for not knowing exactly how to respond to X situation or Y comment. Much of life is gray; words from the friend who kindly shared the above quote. I’m beginning to understand just what she meant, and it is both freeing and terrifying. 

In this season of life, I feel safer with the black and white; it is much easier to stay where I’m comfortable, or work towards the expected, rather than stepping out into the gray, with passion and conviction, despite the resistance I might face. But it is equally dangerous for a bold and self-assured individual to risk without wisdom, like a bull in a china shop, so confident in his/her opinions and choices that hearts are damaged left and right. Staying in step with the Spirit is the only way forward. I’ve been hearing Jesus’ words roll around in my head over the last few days - I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Holding onto this truth will lead us forward, and most likely, in very different ways. Will we allow our fellowship with Christ to inform our way forward, his words to become ours, his life to continue through ours? 

I’m becoming aware of how little I desire fellowship with Christ, but long instead for results, answers, direction. Prayer becomes empty when it is devoid of fellowship. In the same way, life becomes empty when we are always looking for resolution, eager to find answers and completion. The messy middle is where life really happens: tough conversations you were brave to attempt, pursuing a new venture with no guarantee of success, offering thanks and praise when the answers still don’t come. This is the substance of life, not the extras. What I do know, and am coming to embrace more assuredly, is that he is WITH me regardless of the path I take. Keeping company with Christ, in the midst of the unresolved, directly affects our posture towards others as we all ‘fail forward’.

Can we give each other grace, and assume the best of each other’s hearts, even if we make very different choices, and come to strikingly different conclusions about gray issues? Can we remember that we are all 'in process'? There are certainly truths to live and be transformed by in the Word, directives that are not up for dispute, but I grieve at the judgement I see in my own heart and others’ over the gray areas. Find kind companions, who open new possibilities and bring unexpected joy, wrapped up in mystery just as we are. Be kind to your own soul as well. Embracing the tension of our responsibility and our Creator’s wise guidance in each choice, deepens our trust, joy, and peace. Resist the urge to leave the waiting rooms of life too early, or approach the next assignment with a consumer mindset. But do leave the waiting room when it is time, even if the knees still wobble. 

Sacred rhythms such as the Sabbath, fellowship around the Word, daily worship and generous living refresh our souls. Buoyed by these graces, we can patiently look for signposts and clues along the way. But let's not forget to lose ourselves in the wonders of nature, a child's laughter, and the deep unknown places of God's heart, expressed through a friend. I have a small sign above my kitchen sink that simply says, LIVE. One small word, with a very powerful message. Live today, entering the beautiful possibility of the unresolved season you are facing; perhaps you’ll find me waiting there too. There is glory in the messy middle, just as much as in the decision made, the project completed, the child all grown. Can we find grace for our hearts and others’ hearts as we stumble forward?

Bible passages for further study: Matthew 6:25-34 and James 4:13-15

What are your questions? Will you honor your heart in the midst of your unfinished story? Who will you invite into your mystery?

Belief in God's love {our fuel for the joy battle}

Weary in many ways, we walked into the church service yesterday and were greeted by a group of precious elementary aged children singing Jesus Loves Me. It had been so long since I'd heard those words, or rather, since I'd really listened. Their sweet introduction led the congregation into Tomlin's worship song with the same title, and I fought to hold the tears back. Sometimes life just feels like a fight, and without the proper fuel and armor, we are left naked in the battle. I was fueled by that simple reminder of God's love, and ironically, didn't hear much more of the service because I was not feeling well. God knew that, of course.

In her new book, Fight Back With Joy, author Margaret Feinberg drills down to the source of the joy we all long for, especially as we face trials: 

What is the genesis of this joy? I believe that, at its core, joy emanates from the abiding sense of God’s fierce love for us….When we embrace this love and cultivate an awareness of it, our hearts are filled with joy. Such awareness strengthens our resolve that no matter the fight, we face it confident that God is with us and for us. When we fight back with joy, we no longer size the character of God according to our circumstances, but we size our circumstances according to the character of God and his great affection for us… When we fight back with joy, we embrace a reality that is more real than what we’re enduring and we awaken to the deepest reality of our identity as beloved, joyful children of God."

I couldn't agree more! I have fought this battle to embrace God's love. In fact, it's at the core of my story. Letting go of my perfectionistic tendencies, and finding my hope and help in Christ, rather than my own abilities, has changed me body, mind and soul. No longer must I find my confidence in what others think of me, my achievements, or any other shaky ground. The firm foundation of God's love is the basis for the joy I experience now, and that can never be shaken.

I am a firm believer in the holistic nature of our body, mind and spirit, and passionate about encouraging women (and men) to pursue health and vitality that will encompass every part of their being. Joy is no small part of this pursuit towards wellness. The author knows this quite well, as she details in her book. She chose JOY to lead her fight against a cancer diagnosis, and surprised many at what a profound impact that choice made. We are not guaranteed health and wellness simply because we follow Christ, however, choosing to fight for joy can be one part of the remedy that leads us back to health in body, mind and soul. 

God finds delight in us, and delights to show up in our daily mundane schedule, often in remarkable ways. I have experienced the delight of this daily joy hunt over the last few years, and have seen what a profound impact that has had on every area of my life, health, relationships, and faith. Are we looking for God to show up? Are we creating, gathering, and spreading joy? This is part of 'cultivating an awareness of God's love', as mentioned in the quote above. I'd argue that self-care is part of that cultivation as well (but more on that in another post.)

Many of you may not believe that joy is a struggle for me, as I'll most likely greet you with a huge smile and a big hug, and have been told on numerous occasions what a joyful person I am. Hearing those comments brings ME joy, because it doesn't come easy. For any of you who have faced painful trials, you know the real depth of darkness they bring. I am not a stranger to that darkness. Perhaps you are in that place now, whether it is brought on by physical issues, life circumstances, or a struggle of faith.

It is so easy to give in to despair when life is hard, instead of seizing the day or rejoicing in the Lord, as the Word commands on numerous occasions. A former pastor often reminded us to avoid the Eeyore - Christian mentality (Eeyore is the pessimistic, stuffed donkey friend of Winnie the Pooh, if you're not up on children's literature :). In the words of C.S. Lewis, "Joy is the serious business of heaven." Our response to what life throws us will not only affect our lives, but those of onlookers. But don't take my word for it... pick up Feinberg's book, and dive into the meat of her search through hundreds of Scriptures on joy.

As Feinberg says, "Joy is more than a feeling; it's an action. We don't just sense joy; we embody it by how we respond to the circumstances before us." If you're facing any kind of darkness, or know someone who is, I'd highly recommend you pick up this book! Let that be your first action in the fight for joy. And then join me (and the author) in spreading that joy everywhere you go... it's contagious and irresistible!

Find Fight Back with Joy on Amazon or Barnes and Noble. Or click here for the 6-session DVD Bible study, sure to encourage and inspire!

The wellness secret that will change everything

Fall snuck in the back door, and just as quietly, is about to leave, replacing brilliant colors with serene and peaceful landscapes.

Long, quiet, lonely days prompt me to pick up the lens and capture moments of joy to remember the beauty right outside my door. So too, is the choice to be thankful... a lovely guest that sits out in the foyer waiting to be welcomed in, but is often ignored while the pesky and burdensome Discontent distracts and dazzles.


Making the choice to really see the beauty we're surrounded by is strangely difficult. Thankfulness is the mortar that holds together the joints and marrow of our souls, giving our lives shape and meaning.



This stony path is littered with beautiful surprises and one small secret spurs me on when my faith lags...

She told me during another rough time that what God was giving me in that season was His best for me...not an afterthought, a punishment, a manipulation to get me to 'behave better'.

And so I turn the key and open this door to a beautiful surprise, the gift of joy. Realizing that because God gives what is best, I have what I want (who really does know what one's soul deeply needs?) rather than wanting what I don't have. What I have is all I need for today. Perhaps tomorrow, a need or desire will arise, but for today, my soul can be full if I slow down to chew and enjoy the feast of today.




I see light ahead, showing only the next step towards Home. I wipe the dust of fear and doubt at the welcome mat of His throne, and whisper thanks for Him, for my hard-working man, for the simple joy of snapping beauty all around. And I feel His smile and embrace as we warm by the fire of joy.

For further meditation: Matthew 6:25-34, Psalm 30:5, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

By Grace,

Ruth

When a hard story is the best story // keeping your heart alive to hope

Sweet friends. You've stopped in again to let me open up my heart and share the good news of the Gospel in the midst of our brokenness. Perhaps you've seen bits and pieces of the story the Divine Author has written across the pages of our one flesh life this year. The job loss, the weeks of travel, the moments of joy and reconnection with family, the darkness of losing a mother I never knew but gave me so much in Paul, the renewed desire to give our lives fully to vocational ministry, the desire for little ones, new and unexpected callings, moving a-g-a-i-n, and the unforgettable brilliance of Grace in the midst of it all. It has been an uphill, tearful, and yet joyful season. I am quickly reminded of the Cross as I write, the Story of Grace in the midst of darkness, as the story His followers thought should be written one way had a dramatic, painful, and yet gloriously eternal and necessary twist. It was the hardest and best Story ever to be written.

Perhaps you are living a hard story, a painful story that you never wanted and would gladly write yourself out of if you could, yesterday. I know. I've been there. In some ways, I am there. And yet, it's in these dark and confusing moments where we find the deepest Grace, the most profound connections with those we love, and the most dramatic growth possible. There's no other way to move forward sometimes, except through the darkest valleys. We all live for the happy days, the days when life 'makes sense' (at least to us). We see the wicked flourish, the unlikely prosper, the ungrateful and selfish expand their broken families endlessly. Disease abounds, governments make unwise decisions, women make choices that bring death and not the freedom they crave.

And yet. Or rather, but God.... This masterful HIS-story maker and life-story production manager is at work writing an epic story through our brokenness. He is turning the effects of the fall, our sin and the broken systems in which we live into something glorious, beautiful and breathtaking. If you are written into His eternal playbook as His adopted child it's happening in your home, closer yet, in your very heart. Pretty amazing, I think!!

But it hurts. It really hurts. Some days, who am I kidding, most days, it is easier to distract ourselves from the pain with anything that works... could be something harmless, could be something damaging and deadly. You know what your go-to method is. To be clear, finding ways to lift our hearts and bring us joy in good and godly ways is not to be denied. In fact, we are called to rest and allow our hearts space to breathe. God often allows pain to heal our hearts. The pain could be a result of our sin choices, the sin of others, or the brokenness we daily face because of the fall in the Garden (See Genesis 3). Life just doesn't work the way it was meant to. Are there good and healthy ways to keep our hearts alive but at the same time not ignore the deeper work going on within us?

What happens to our hearts when life hurts? Does our heart stay alive to hope or does it slowing stop beating? Do our relationships die or do they grow stronger? Do our callings become stronger and more obvious, or do our dreams slowly die? This is where the battle lies, and the enemy wants nothing more than to turn our hearts to stone...to kill, steal, and destroy the life that is growing within us as we are daily renewed in Christ. How do we fight for our own hearts, and the hearts of those we love to keep beating with purpose, joy, conviction, and intentional focus on Gospel living?  There are never easy answers. At least I haven't come up with any! But looking to the ancient paths given by our Maker are the surest ways to lasting hope and joy. May I humbly encourage...

~ The Living Word. Ingest it in small amounts, big amounts, listen on audio, read online, read the old-fashioned hardbound, read it in Spanish or Greek. However you can get His words into your soul, please DO. The Psalms bring me relief in hardship like nothing else. Read good Christian books, fiction too!

~ Pray & confess. With a friend, as you shower, as you cry, give kisses, wash dishes, or wish the day would end. Pray honestly, one word at a time if needed.

~ Be thankful. There are apps, there are notebooks, you can text it to your friend, or post it on FaceBook, or across the sky. But thankfulness will breathe life into your otherwise dreary day as few other things will. Ask God to help you when you're not thankful, and thanking Him for the Grace He gave on the Cross is a good place to start.

~ Honesty. With your spouse, a friend, yourself. There's no need to look pretty when life is messy. I've tried it - with horrible results!! I like the Day One app for a place to record my thoughts and prayers.

~ Care for your temple (Romans 12:1-2). Sleep, eat your veggies, take a walk or yoga class. Taking care of yourself, even when you don't feel like it, will reap huge dividends. I find that taking care of myself physically and emotionally reminds me of my worth in Christ. You are worth the effort, friends! But - ahem - dark chocolate might help too!

~ Give yourself extra grace. Being hard on yourself when life is hard is just...pointless! But we all do it. God is looking at you with deep compassion even if you've made bad choices to get you where you are right now. Beating yourself up in the midst of your struggles will just compound the difficulties.

~ Fellowship. Hold onto friends and family. Tightly. Look for every chance you can to spend a moment together with someone you love, whether on the phone, over coffee, a movie night, doing chores, whatever! Don't be afraid to reach out to someone new - I'll bet he/ she needs a friend as much as you do, and sharing your struggles honestly will open up more of your heart as well as theirs.

~ Look to eternity. If you are His child, all pain and tears will pass away, and our joy in Christ will far outweigh the pain and suffering of this life. I know very well how hard it is to wrap your mind around this truth, so ask God to help you live with eternal hope. Preaching it to myself as I type!

~ Find rest in the fellowship of His suffering, knowing you will never face the depth of pain and sacrifice that He bore for your sins, but that He is also a gracious High Priest who understands. He will meet you there, in deep and profound ways.

I recently started reading The Hardest Peace and have been so deeply moved and impacted by Kara's words. One point in particular that blessed me immensely are her comments concerning Proverbs 1:33, and the promise that as we rest in Him, He will remove not the disaster, but the dread of the disaster. Fear causes us to live in agony as we imagine the impossibility of future circumstances (often not imagining the God of Abundant Grace with us there!) But He will keep you in perfect peace as you turn to Him, as you walk the ancient paths... slowly replacing fear of pain, with faith in the One who suffered the deepest pain.

Fighting for our hearts,

Ruth