Thoughts on the new year...from my desk :)

It's been a great start to the new year in some ways, and a humbling reminder of my brokenness in other ways! So thankful for friends coming to visit, and thankful for a marriage that can hold the ups and downs of life with grace and truth. I've had just a bit of time to see bloggers and friends posting their new year's thoughts, goals, and dreams online, which is both exciting and intimidating!

I was once that girl. You know, the one with the color-coded, sectioned off goal sheet for the new year, complete with step-by-step subgoals and pictures. Go ahead and roll your eyes, my family certainly did! Thankfully, I've learned to give myself (and others) quite a bit more grace since my pre-teen years, and making new year's goals is not as overwhelming and oppressive to myself and others. I went through the phase of not making goals for a while, but instead determining new habits to focus on (life goals), and I've also tried making quarterly goals. Both have been great! I think I might do a little combo of that this year, but I'm also adding the ONE WORD challenge to my list. 

True to form, I've waited for the 'one word' phase to become a little less trendy, but I couldn't help myself this year. As I've spent time in prayer and conversation with friends over the last few days, the word PEACE keeps rolling around in my mind and heart. Not just peace, but the deeper and all-encompassing Hebrew word, SHALOM, the world and everything within it being made right, whole, complete, and as it was meant to be. For weeks and months, this word, shalom, has been popping up in various places...a sermon preached at a church we attended only a few times...an email from my sister...the Spirit's prompting...a deep desire for shalom in our lives and the lives of others...an unrelated conversation with a friend, etc. Okay, so you get the point, and I do too! God is up to something and I just need to pay attention. Isn't that really what it comes down to so often? God is doing something in our lives, we just need to surrender and embrace it. 

I'm still working on my quarterly goals, but I might just resurrect some from last quarter...that I didn't quite master. That still counts, right? Here you go: 

~ Eat something green every day

~ Keep water with me at all times (and guzzle it!) Best beauty habit ever.

~ 20 min reading / 20 min writing / 20 minutes yoga & meditation daily

And some new ones, considering it is a new year (quarter):

~ Finish the Tribe Writers course (next course starts in June, if you're interested!)

~ Emphasize conversation and interest in others on social media

~ Learn to be a better encourager

~ Can I say it? Read through the Bible this year...Okay, so now you know and I have to do it! 

I'm excited about what She Reads Truth is doing to help us out with this, and optimistic that with community support, this last one might come to fruition. Whether you make this your goal or not, please do check out SRT. Great site! I will say that God is renewing my desire for the Word, and I'm only approaching this Bible-in-a-year goal by His grace and not in my own strength. Maybe chewing on the book of John is more your style?

Getting back to habits/life goals...take a look at Jonathan Edward's resolutions. Does it get any better than that? I'm pretty sure I can't master even one of them this year, but I plan to look them over regularly and ask God to help me move in that direction. Another idea is to write a vision statement, but I'll talk about that in another post, when I'm feeling a bit more motivated. It's not something to take lightly, and to be honest, it's been a while since I re-wrote my vision statement. Maybe it's time... maybe next quarter? :)

One more thing, a question for you, dear reader... could you take a moment and email me at ruthlessloveblog@gmail.com? I want to hear what topics would be a blessing to you this quarter/year! My overall focus is wellness + spirituality, but anything within that umbrella is an option. You can add this to my goal list : serve my readers well! I'd be happy to lift up any prayer requests as well. Just drop me a line! 

Hoping with you, for a new year and new quarter that is filled with the goodness of God, because no matter what happens, HE IS GOOD! 

Embracing the joy and mystery of Christmas {even when life hurts}

Emmanuel, God With Us, is inviting you into His mysterious joy...

I'll omit the apology for not writing in a while, because honestly? It's been a very challenging season of trials and this last heartache left our hearts bleeding and crying out for Christmas joy like no other. I'm not gonna lie, if any one of us is needing joy, I'll be the first in line! As I've cried out for comfort and leaned on friends in new ways, I'm finding that the things I'll share here are making all the difference. Perhaps this isn't exactly a picture perfect Christmas for you either? Well, stick around, because you and me, friend? We've got front row seats to a Christmas miracle and the tickets are FREE!

I've asked God for a special reminder of His presence and love, and the song O Come, O Come Emmanuel has sprinkled crumbs on the trail to His glory and grace. My worship-leader-treasured-friend reminded me that most Christmas songs are written in a minor key, and you might be asking why? Longing. We are all longing for the hope, peace, and joy that the people of God craved before the first coming of Christ. They weren't just waiting for months, or a couple years, we're talking hundreds of years since there had been any prophetic revelation from God.  Take a nice, slow read of a few stanzas in the song at this link.

Do you see the longing displayed in those words? These were some seriously dark times for the people of God, friends. May we find encouragement in knowing that we are not alone this Christmas, and God is again this year bending low, humbling Himself and giving His presence in the midst of whatever circumstances we are facing.

Emmanuel, God with us. He is the friend like no other, who will sit down with you in the middle of your mess. He'll hold you, he'll cry with you. In fact, He came to share the sufferings of life with you. He is the gracious and compassionate High Priest. My mind is struggling to wrap itself around the simultaneous truths of God's goodness and sovereignty, yet again. No need to feel guilt over that if you are there too. But regardless of whether or not you are able to embrace those mind-bending truths, you can confess your doubt and struggle to believe Him. 

My mind turns to the beautiful young Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus. Because of her humble faith, we are able to enjoy the embrace of our Savior in hard and happy times. When we don't understand why God is allowing difficulties, or when we are equally astounded at undeserved blessings that come our way (as we should be), we honor God by entering the mystery of His grace with the humble faith Mary had. She did not understand exactly what God was doing, but she chose to praise Him in the midst of it and she chose to embrace HIS plan for her life. It was certainly not an easy road for her, in many ways. I'm asking myself this Christmas, how can I embrace where God has me, both the good and bad, and praise Him still? How can you?

Though He will always come to find us, humbly entering our mess, we can bring Him glory by moving towards Him in faith as well. Remember, He wants to be WITH YOU in your pain. He is not asking You to wash up and put on that cute holiday dress before you can show up at the ball. He takes your hand, and invites you into His presence anyway. 
I'm still learning to dance, but here are some steps I'm taking towards His embrace this Christmas...

Honesty and humility - Nobody likes platitudes, but sometimes speaking the truth as a bandaid over our pain (whether it's our self-talk or the words of others) helps, and other times, the wound just keeps festering underneath. I know, because when the pain is gushing out bright red, your sweet little heart feels like it just might explode and who wants that? Being honest with a few friends, my husband, and most importantly, God, has been vital to surviving this recent loss. It is pretty humbling to have to admit how much we can struggle to believe (especially when that word is plastered all over ads and commercials this time of year) but no one can really help if they don't know what you're going through. 

Friends like Philemon - If you don't have friends like Paul had in Philemon, who encourage your heart and stand with you in the battle, start asking God for them. But most likely, I'd be willing to bet there is at least one friend or family member who is wanting to be there for you. Will you let them in? I can totally empathize here, as asking for help is again, humbling, but thankfully the people who love me are patient, and I'm certain your support network will be too.

Moving towards the pain, not away from it - Ouch. I know, I had to bring this up, right? Hiding in bed is pretty comforting too, but we've all got to face the day at some point. The pain and grief you are facing won't go away, and maybe you are not ready to deal with the issues right now, but the longer we put it off, the slower the healing will be. Give yourself grace, but take some small steps every day to look at the wounds, allowing the Healer to bind them up and comfort you with His word.

Forgiveness - If nothing else in this post has spoken to you, I'm guessing maybe this one might? Unforgiveness is such a huge obstacle to joy at Christmas time, considering all the people we are mingling with. Small talk won't cut it if there are years of misunderstanding that need to be dealt with. What if you had that talk you've been putting off for so long? Have you considered forgiving yourself too? The Gospel is Christ coming to earth, entering our mess, making a way for hope, joy and PEACE with Him and others for eternity.

Tears of worship - Remember those friends I mentioned? Another lovely friend comforted me with the fact that our tears are precious to God (He keeps them all in a bottle, the Word says, but it's okay if you need that Olympic-size swimming pool next to mine :) When prayer is hard, friends seem absent, and you're just not ready to deal with the pain, tears are enough. He is WITH us, and willing to walk with us, wherever we are today, whether we are ready to heal or still curled up in a ball.

I hope you can find comfort in the mysterious joy of Emmanuel this Christmas, regardless of your circumstances. Remember that dusty, dirty stable where Christ was born? It's okay if that's what your heart, your home, or your relationships are looking like this Christmas. Jesus did not demand a perfect situation for His arrival on earth. He humbled Himself and came in the most vulnerable way. Wherever you are this Christmas, He wants to be WITH you there. Will you let Him in?

For additional encouragement, check out Emmanuel (Hallowed Manger Ground) by Chris Tomlin and Hope is Alive by Ellie Holcomb. I've had the second on repeat lately, it's that good :)

UPDATE: Great encouragement for the suffering in this broken, hostile world from Ann Voskamp (don't miss the spoken word video at the end!)

Amazed by Grace,

Ruth

Taking a break...

Hello readers and friends, 

It's the Sabbath and I'm thinking about how to find refreshment in the Lord, and in all areas of my life.  I'm surfing through blogs I like to read because that's so refreshing, right??  Not really.  Reading blogs can be helpful, but oftentimes, looking at blogs and social media can make me envious, exhausted, and feeling badly about who God has made me in Christ.  Not exactly the best recipe for a restful Sunday!  

I was also reflecting that though I enjoyed writing most days in October for the 31 day series on praising God, it sometimes felt forced.  Not coming out of who I really am.  Doing something like this should not be an obligation, but a source of joy and refreshment.  So with the holidays coming up, I'm going to take a break from blogging.  I want to focus on serving my husband, friends, family and church, and also taking care of myself.  I want to encourage you to take the pressure off of yourself in areas where you are doing something you don't need to be doing.  Who are you trying to impress?  Who am I trying to impress?  

"Do you think I speak this strongly in order to manipulate crowds? Or curry favor with God? Or get popular applause? If my goal was popularity, I wouldn’t bother being Christ’s slave. Know this—I am most emphatic here, friends—this great Message I delivered to you is not mere human optimism. I didn’t receive it through the traditions, and I wasn’t taught it in some school. I got it straight from God, received the Message directly from Jesus Christ." Galatians 1: 10-12 (MSG)

I'm not sure when I'll be signing back on, but whoever you are out there, find comfort in the grace offered by Christ to you.  "For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift—not from works, so that no one can boast." --Ephesians 2:8-9 

This holiday season, let's all find ways to accept the GIFT of GRACE from God.  Not only for our salvation, but in every area of our lives.  

By Grace,

Ruth

A very Good Friday

Hello friends!

I've enjoyed my Spring Break from school...hanging out with friends and family, getting things done at home, a surprise anniversary gift for my hubby (2 years next week!!), and schoolwork. :)

My Mom and I at Blue Springs park in January

I'm looking forward to having guests over for Easter and enjoying this meaningful day together.  Shout out to my mom who helped us develop a love for this special day with all sorts of fun memories like egg hunts, thoughtful readings and music for church, and of course, the extravagant meal.  I'm just happy that I figured out how to make a roasted chicken and veggies that seems to turn out well :)  Don't get me wrong, I love cooking and experimenting in the kitchen, but holidays can overwhelm me.  I put all these expectations on myself for Martha Stewart perfection, all the while hoping for a perfectly godly attitude.  Hard to do...impossible, actually!  :)  I've been resting in the perfection of Christ on my account, and it is so freeing.  I'm also learning that my joy is not wrapped up in my happiness....more on that to come.

Here is a link to a recent post on the Letters to my Sisters blog that I also write for.  Loving speech is a topic I really struggle with, and holidays and busy times can make that even more difficult.  I hope that it encourages you to know that the perfection of Christ expressed for us on the Cross covers over our sins completely and fully.  I tear up thinking about it.  To know that the fullness of my sin and yours crushed him, and He did that simply to have relationship with us?  Hard to comprehend and accept, but if you have not claimed this gift for yourself, please run to Jesus and have that conversation with Him.  Why did You do it?  Why did You choose me?  How can I live my life for You in return?  It will be the best decision you EVER make.

We adore you, Jesus, and bow at your feet with humble gratitude, on this very, very Good Friday.

Ruth

How He loves..

Today I felt the God of Angel Armies open up my heart and pour in His love.  I went through the day with joy and peace, enjoyed my students, and really meant it when I told others I had a good day :)  This song came to mind as I was thinking about you, and hoping that whether or not your day was a good one, you might somehow believe that you. are. loved.  Sending a hug your way, and praying that God pours out His love to you through this song, or some other way.

Jesus-love to you, my friend.....Ruth 

Christ, the Child we all long for...

The candle crackles and the peaceful music plays of how to sing with the angels that herald the King.  I sit with books piled high, end-of-semester grading, and texts popping in from family, friends...tidings of good news and great joy, and of jobs, babies, Christmas gifts to plan and parties to attend.  And don't we all have so much to be thankful for?  How easy it is to let life pull us down into the mire, and doesn't Christmas lift us up into the holy and glorious, the sacred and wondrous?

I have been guilty of living in that fog.  Waiting for the belly to swell with hope, and joy for the future, when Christ swells within me daily--and don't I feel that?  The mind sinks to circumstantial fears, that loom dark when hope swells in others.  And I forget.  Forget that the Christ child came to us all, no one was forgotten.  Today when we wait for test results, and hurting families to heal, and oh-don't-we-wish-it-weren't-that-way days to end....Christ longs for us to long for Him.  When jobs and cars and houses don't satisfy, Christ gives us purpose, daily transport to heavenly realities, and a home with Him forever.

These days ticking off to Christmas, and I wonder at the child in the manger, who came into our world, us undeserving shepherds, parents, gift-givers, innkeepers....and I wonder.  Will a child coming to our home feel just as wondrous?  This blessed union that has ached and amazed, as we've grown to love and trust...just like that stable, a messy and imperfect, dusty and dirty (literally, sometimes), humble abode...will it be a home for someone miraculous?  I will welcome that one with joy.  Advent 2012, however, brings the hope of the Christ born in my heart, in a new way.  I am 'nesting', creating space in my heart for New Life, cleaning out the dark and damp closets that house my fears, hanging robes of righteousness, compassion, patience, and thankfulness.

Days ago, I sat hopeful with a doctor who tells me that this hope for the belly to swell, it's not impossible (and I'm thinking, with God, was that ever so?).  He says that he has answers, and I breathe hopeful.  Do you wait this Christmas?  Can you turn that longing into a longing for Christ?  O Come, O Come Emmanuel!  And truly, He comes into our hearts, whether the friendship heals, the interview happens, the party goes well, or the gifts and cards are all sent on time....He comes.  Oh, let us be thankful.

Rejoicing in the Christ child,

Ruth

Things that are blessing me this Christmas...

The colors of the season here in Florida!  This is on our daily neighborhood walk...

Christmas can leave us all harried, but what do you do to capture some quiet moments, meditate on what matters?

Time slows, I can embrace where I am and drink in joy....because of these gifts from God...

Ann Voskamp Jesse Tree Advent Readings

Pandora Christmas stations--cheap membership to get ad-free listening!

This chai mix and this hot cocoa mix (Costco has the best price...)

I won't rub it in too much, but it has been in the mid-70s and 80s down here.

Genres Bible reading plan

Free tickets to the Getty concert!

reading in the evening on our new couch  (with a cup of that chai or hot cocoa above...)

staying away from Walmart on the weekends

taking the long way to work, and back

walking around the neighborhood with my hubby... and trying to avoid the bears (unlike my sis-in-law who was looking for them :)

family coming soon! and finding the perfect gift for the Perry family gift exchange

fellowship with dear friends  (you know who you are! :)

dancing a jig with the worship team here

my husband, who does not have expectations for me (except that I cook with plenty of beans!  :)

this video that we haven't finished (like I said, the past few days have been crazy)...but the first half was so special!

and taking a deep breath because it will all slow down in a few days (praise the Lord for three weeks off!)

I hope to post at least once more before Christmas, but if Christmas cards get the best of me....

Have a delightfully rich and meaningful Christmas and New Year!

Ruth

Innocent question, terrible theology...

It was an innocent question, but very 'American'.  I was trying to get out the door from a late night at church and still feeling dazed from a hard few days.  "Are you ready for Christmas?, " she said so innocently...My husband and I, well, we answered as best we could, but I easily read his expression, his true thoughts.  We have different ideas about decorating, celebrating and enjoying Christmas, he being more practical and myself, well, a bit more creative and also more of a spender (sorry, dear.)  I felt badly that this usually very reasonable and kind lady teased my love about being a 'scrooge,' and I also left frantically making lists in my head of all that 'needed' to be done to be 'ready' for Christmas...

What does it really mean to be ready for Christmas?  In the eyes of this woman, well, she was referring to all the busyness that ensues come October 31st.  [Yes, I'm guilty too...the Christmas music started in our home that day!]  My heart lifts when I think of all the pretty Christmas things, the people to buy for,  how to make the perfect Christmas card, and sadly, what gifts might come my way too...  Add school and church into the mix...Christmas plays, events, gifts, and lessons to help the little ones feel festive, loved, 'happy'.  But what about their souls?  What about mine?  

I've found myself leaning into the heart of the Lord a little more than usual this Christmas.  Certainly not because I am 'more spiritual' than any other woman.  No, it's simply because I feel my need, see my many imperfections.  I desperately wait for my Savior to fill up the gaps that I feel, the ache for more than this life can offer.  I find myself wondering what would bless Jesus on this, HIS birthday season.  I'm guessing it's not all the fuss and bustle.  I don't have any good answers, but simply a soul-searching that brings me back to my main callings...to love my God, my man, and...? Period.  Could that be enough?  What would it look like for me to ready my heart to love Jesus better, to love my husband better?  I want so badly to be there.  

My thoughts drift to the participants in the very first Christmas.  How did Mary prepare for Christmas?  Was she terrified, excited, hopeful?  Perhaps all.  What about Joseph?  Could he have struggled to trust God with the call to his new family?  How would he protect and provide?  The wise men who came expectant, and the shepherds who didn't plan at all, simply received.  And Jesus, He came.  He came to them, to all of us, whether we are ready....or not.  In years past, I have 'missed' His appearance, being distracted by the trappings of the American Christmas.  This Christmas, I bring my heart, in need of the Savior that offers Himself to us in a messy stable, uncertain times.  Here I am with my messy heart, doubts, uncertain and fearful times.  All I must do is receive?  I think perhaps, that is the best gift I can give my Savior....just to receive.  

Celebrating freedom {in Christ}

I trust you had a wonderful 4th of July with friends and family!  We were able to relax briefly today; we also had front-row seats to a great fireworks show!  A large part of our day was spent packing up for our move, as well....but in between all this...

Source

A topic started rolling around in my head last night {spiritual freedom}  as hubby and I did our evening reading.  J.R.R. Tolkien's, The Hobbit was the impetus.  But first, some back story....Bilbo Baggins is the main character in this delightful story, and at the start of the book, he reluctantly agrees to embark on a treacherous journey with some new acquaintances, 13 dwarves, and a wizard, Gandalf.  The goal?  To claim the treasure that has been passed on to the dwarves--if they can make it through Mirkwood forest and past the dragon.  At many points along the journey, Bilbo wishes that he never agreed to this.  But {spoiler alert!}once he acquires the ring, and learns that it will provide invisibility, he becomes quite a leader among his fellow travelers.  He is able to help them through many a pinch, and the incident we'll discuss is no different.  The problem is that the dwarves are not that excited about his method of escape from their current dilemma:  capture by the Elvish King.


"Bilbo saw that the time had come to explain his idea, as far as he could; but he did not feel at all sure how the dwarves would take it.  His fears were quite justified, for they did not like it a bit, and started grumbling loudly in spite of their danger.  'We shall be bruised and battered to pieces, and drowned too, for certain"' they muttered.  'We thought you had got some sensible notion, when you managed to get hold of the keys.  This is a mad idea!' 'Very well'! said Bilbo very downcast, and also rather annoyed.  'Come along back to your nice cells, and I will lock you all in again, and you can sit there comfortably and think of a better plan--but don't suppose I shall ever get hold of the keys again, even if I feel inclined to try."


Perhaps you see the corollary?  At times, I see myself in the same situation as the dwarves....hearing the Lord's voice leading me out of a current entrapment with sin...{whatever that may be for you, put yourself in their place too}.  Isn't it easier to remain trapped, than it is to risk freedom, and the treacherous path to get there?  We choose the comfortable, but deadly route, when freedom is right around the corner, beckoning us to come near.  I have chosen my imprisonment far too many times.  


As Christians, we are all moving from death to life, through the process of sanctification; here in our home, a new season of growth is on the horizon.  Though it is not what we had in mind for ourselves, it is going to bring challenge and blessing in ways we have not expected.  There will be hardships, for sure.  But these very trials and joys will be a part of the training ground our Father has planned for us.  What about you?  What lays ahead for you?  On this day, in which we celebrate the freedoms that have been granted through the courage of our forefathers, may I challenge you to turn your mind to the battle that Christ won on the cross?


Galatians 5:1:  "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."


Freedom is yours, if you will accept the journey....even if reluctantly, like Bilbo :) 


A blessed 4th to you!
Ruth