A Year of Yes: Celebrating and Growing

Chillin' in front of Bok Tower as the bells played

It's been one year since the day I told him yes, wholeheartedly.  You can read about that here.  *smile*  He is still sweet and servant-hearted as ever, I and am hopefully more kind, gentle-hearted.  We are growing.

My hubby and the photographer of our day:  isn't he talented?

It was nice to get out of the apartment yesterday and we had a great time at historic Bok Tower and Gardens, walking among the peaceful surroundings, enjoying the day together.  We've been trying to take every weekend this month to do something special,

The view from the back of the estate

One of my favorite views, by the visitor center

as family will be in over the holidays and time alone will be scarce.  He is sweet to honor my request.  Did I mention my husband is sweet?  Such a kind soul.  I am learning that the first yes was only the beginning of a life of yes....yes to the dying to myself, yes to joyful submission, yes to forgetting myself long enough to serve him.  And yes to wherever this path we're on together takes us.  Am I glad?  That would be one more, resounding YES.  God has been so good to us.  May I encourage you to walk the path of 'yes' to God even today?  You won't regret it...  

It was hard to resist grabbing an orange....but resist I did :)

Window at the pond, and the Great Blue Heron

The Holiday Home Tour of Pinewood Estates

Wrestling with the Angel

 Read with me in Genesis 32...²⁴ So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. ²⁵ When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. ²⁶ Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.”

   But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”

 ²⁷ The man asked him, “What is your name?”

   “Jacob,” he answered.

 ²⁸ Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome.”

 ²⁹ Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.”

   But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there.

 ³⁰ So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”  From my journal this morning....

"Are we done wrestling?  I hope so. The battle has intensified these last few months, and it has been me, striving with all that is in me, to beg You to bless me…as I grasp for control and haphazardly reach for what I think will satisfy.  You wait patiently, and walk behind me, cleaning up the messes I have made, coloring them with the gold of your glory.  And isn’t this the depth of grace?  To be fully wrong, and yet fully loved and covered in Your all-surpassing goodness.  This is the covering that I have inherited.  The great grace of being your daughter.  New names I will take on these coming weeks…a new surname, a new calling, both in marriage and ministry…and yet my deepest calling remains, as your child, called to rest in Your love that never fails.  In this I am called to surrender, to drink deeply of Your perfection, letting go of the need for mine.  I have faltered these months in letting go.  The surrender has been hard, the change, the newness, and letting go of me, to accept the ‘we’.  I, like Jacob, have wrestled these months, these many years, with the angel...with my God, asking to be blessed, begging for this, that, or the other thing…in all this I have wanted my God…wanted Him in my inmost being, to be my Healer and Redeemer, and He is answering.  He is opening up the scarred heart, and filling it with His joy, walking through past wounds with His grace, answering my ‘whys’ with His simple, ‘I AM’.  And truly isn’t this the only and best answer?  Isn’t it enough to know that He is before and after and in between every step, every choice, every path we might take...making, molding, renewing, and saving.  Oh, does He save.  I praise Him for this.  For the way He has saved me from myself.  In this I rejoice more than in all things…that God will wrestle me down, touching the sinew of my thigh, as with Jacob, so I will see Him in all things, and not me.  This will bring joy, more and more.  As the weeks before the wedding turn to days, and days to hours, I delight in knowing that the Glory of God, the Filling of the Spirit, and the Seal of this Work, are all that remain.  May it be so, Lord, may it be so.  ³⁰ So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, 'It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.' "

Monday Memorial Stones

Happy Monday!  I'd like to start a little series here with you all, to help us start the week out right and bring glory to God as we remember and reflect on all the wonderful miracles He has wrought in each of our lives.  I'd love to 
hear your stories of God's faithfulness, and in just about a month, I'll be celebrating my first 'memorial stone' with many of you!  Today I remember and reflect on God's goodness in bringing Paul & I together.  I can't say how many times I resigned myself to thinking and feeling that God had forgotten me, that there really couldn't be another man left out there that I would truly enjoy, respect, and admire.  But there he is, and the days are nearing when we will begin the process of becoming one in Christ.  He is also celebrating a birthday this week, so there are lots of reasons to be thankful for his life!  It is incredible how God can bring two people together who are so different, who are going different directions (except for following Christ), and have no way of finding each other, aside from the Eternal Grace of God.  I hope we will all find joy as we reflect not only on what God has done for each of us, but what that tells us about Who He is....and that is something great to start off every week!  Celebrating love! ~RP 
(see below for Scripture on 'memorial stones' and how the Israelites were commanded to do this...)

Joshua 4

 ¹ When the whole nation had finished crossing the Jordan, the LORD said to Joshua, ²“Choose twelve men from among the people, one from each tribe, ³ and tell them to take up twelve stones from the middle of the Jordan, from right where the priests are standing, and carry them over with you and put them down at the place where you stay tonight.”

 ⁴ So Joshua called together the twelve men he had appointed from the Israelites, one from each tribe, ⁵ and said to them, “Go over before the ark of the LORD your God into the middle of the Jordan. Each of you is to take up a stone on his shoulder, according to the number of the tribes of the Israelites, ⁶ to serve as a sign among you. In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ ⁷ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the LORD. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”

²¹ He said to the Israelites, “In the future when your descendants ask their parents, ‘What do these stones mean?’ ²² tell them, ‘Israel crossed the Jordan on dry ground.’ ²³ For the LORD your God dried up the Jordan before you until you had crossed over. The LORD your God did to the Jordan what he had done to the Red Sea^[b] when he dried it up before us until we had crossed over. ²⁴He did this so that all the peoples of the earth might know that the hand of the LORD is powerful and so that you might always fear the LORD your God.”

Active Rest

This phrase has been rattling around inside me lately...I first heard it when out in CO and my life was falling apart.  A friend mentioned to me in passing that I needed to learn 'active rest'...and at that point, there were so many things out of control, I don't know that I had the capacity to really absorb what she was saying...but I find myself in a similar, though less critical, of a time as I was then.  Similar things are being pulled up out of my soul, and I am realizing that God is peeling back the layers and teaching me some old lessons in new ways...and it seems that active rest is one of the things I am needing to get a better grip on.  This morning I listened to an excellent sermon here on rest, and the speaker seems to have a good understanding of this elusive concept.  He closes with some thoughts on balancing what we are called to, with the need to rely on the yoke the Lord offers, not our own strength and abilities.  I sigh as I realize the challenge to be fully serving and yet fully depending.  So that is my quest, as I enter into marriage...God has provided a wonderful man to help carry the load, but how do I continue to offer who and what I am, while at the same time allowing him to carry much of the weight of life that can be crushing?  It seems to be the same journey I am on with the Lord, and surrender has never been easy for me.  I've often wondered if being blessed with so many gifts and talents was more of a blessing, or a curse, as it has long plagued me with a performance mentality.  Praise be to God--I am learning--and I pray we all continue to 'give in' and not 'give up'...Surrender is stronger...as this song reminds us. Press on!  

The Joy of the Unknown

Is this an oxy-moron, I wonder, to find joy in the unknown?  Or could this actually be the essence of walking with Christ?  I think the latter, and I am getting new glimpses of this particular joy.  My Father seems to delight in walking me through dark valleys and unknown twists and turns, while I seem to prefer the predictable and unchallenging parts of life.  What has happened?  When did I stop finding joy in this crazy and edge-of-your-seat ride called LIFE?  It is easy to get off the roller coaster of the unknown, and allow distractions to fill my soul, while God is beckoning me back to the walk of Faith that can only be lived day-by-day, in complete dependence on heavenly resources.  New possibilities and open doors left me equally anxious and excited into the late hours last night.  I am finding that my out-of-shape soul is being presented with small tests, and as I walk through them with the response I know Christ desires, new doors, new tests, and greater challenges open up to me.  My heart is changing, and although I have no idea what God has for my future (except that it will be with my love!), my joy is found in knowing the heart of my Father.  He is the Rock of refuge, the Prince of Peace, the Beginning and the End, and my dearest Friend.  There is no reason to be afraid.  As I let go of my fears, and continue to walk into each unknown day, I find that fellowship with God is my greatest comfort.  Oh God, that You would reveal my sin and take away my distractions more often, so I would be forced to live in this way regularly!  Please keep my heart set on pilgrimage (Psalm 84:5), Lord...and take me into the future that I could never have asked for or imagined (Ephesians 3:20), both here, and in the world to come.  I am your humble servant, take my life and let it be, consecrated Lord to Thee (Havergal).  The best is yet to come!  Amen.

Dancing in the Rain (or Snow...)

I think I am learning...hopefully!  We, my Pastor-love and I, took dance lessons in the fall.  We didn't always do it perfectly, but then again, some evenings it was just hilarious fun, as we made mistakes together and kept dancing...even when the songs were over... or the beat wasn't keeping up with us ;)  ('Like how I phrased that?)  But life has been a challenge lately...and I am not as good of a life-dancer as I had hoped.  There are unexpected turns in this road I am on, and I am begging for more grace some days before I even get started on my long commute. 

But something in me has changed.  I am tired of complaining and whining, and I want a new perspective, a new heart and attitude, in the middle of this.  The best part is that I am reminded that God wants that for me too 
(from Ezekiel 36, ²⁶ I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.)


...and here before me lies a challenge to accept...will I choose joy in the midst of struggle, or will I grumble, mumble, and complain, staying lost on the backside of the desert?

I think I see the 'Red Sea' parting just a bit up ahead, and Egypt is getting further behind me, but I must keep choosing.  Will I walk forward into the unknown, or get swept up in the confusing swirls of my doubt, being tossed about?  ⁵ If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. ⁶ But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. ⁷ That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. ⁸ Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do. --James 1 (NIV)


Choosing joy over doubt, faith over confusion, and love over selfishness are the things I need to be about, but I am out of practice.  Somehow I have slowly become more about me than about anyone else, it seems....and God is gracious to call me back...wooing me...insisting in some ways, that I REMEMBER...remember Who He is, who I am, and what this is all about.  I am a slow learner.  Could I have gotten comfortable?  How could I?  How could I have forgotten His miraculous deliverance so many times, His patient, radical and pursuing love, his gentle and sometimes urgent reminders, and all the stories we have written on this journey together.  He reminds me that the road is long, that we are only getting started, in some ways, and that Hope does not disappoint... 


(³And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;

 ⁴and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;

 ⁵and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us, Romans 5, NASB)

I am happy that my Dance Instructor believes in me.  That is what it will take to keep going, keep giving myself over to His good purposes, and learning to dance in the storms and icy cold days that may come.  He warms my heart, and reminds me that summer is just around the corner.  Today I am thankful:  thankful for a job lead for my Love, thankful for warm tea in oodles of flavors...thankful for friends who open up their hearts and homes to me, thankful for family who join in my rejoicing for this engagement season, thankful for a chance to love children whose hearts are in need of Jesus, thankful for freedom to worship, for a calling to love and be loved...the list goes on and on....and I am thankful because I want to learn how to dance.  RP

Restful reflections...

It's Sunday, my favorite day...and my soul was able to breathe today, which made it a great Sunday!  I haven't been visiting you all here in a while, because life and wedding plans have been taking over...but it is all good.  I'm curious...what are your favorite wedding planning/engagement memories?  Any thoughts for a soon-to-be-bride?  Leave your comments...and enjoy the hours that remain of the weekend!  As a good friend says, I do not get to 'skip Monday'...so the day of rest is a must!  
Just as a side note...I wish you could have heard my Pastor preach today...who will soon be my husband...it was wonderfully convicting and encouraging all at the same time.  Hug all the little people you know, and celebrate the fact that their mothers brought them into the world, and did not choose death...over life.  Celebrate Sanctity of Life Sunday...and say a prayer for the many mothers who are deciding over this important issue as we speak.  God be with you--RP

I said YES....

....or rather, something closer to 'I'd be honored!'  We had a wonderful evening last night!  Dinner was at my favorite restaurant, the quaint Tavern on the Square in New Wilmington, PA, and the proposal followed.  Paul was nervous, but had the sweetest letter prepared that he read to me before asking, telling me all the things he sees in me, and why he wanted to marry me.  How could I resist?  It was easy to say YES to such a sweet, godly man.  He is everything I have been hoping for and so much more!  I am so blessed.  For the next part of the evening, we went to see the Pittsburgh Symphony's Christmas performance at the Scottish Rite Cathedral in New Castle, PA, and enjoyed the wonderful talent of the symphony, as well as the sing-a-long at the end.  I did want a picture with the opera-singing 10-foot Santa (he seemed that tall from the crowd *smile*), but he didn't make it into our photo album.  Afterwards, we celebrated with a little sparkling grape juice.  Cheers!  The photo is a little hard to make out, but the ring is a beautiful 1-carat flower-inspired ring.  There is a round solitaire in the middle, with several diamonds around it, and a few channel-set in the band.  It was another confirmation to me from the Lord about the relationship, as I have long wanted a floral-looking ring.  It speaks to me of the many things that God has been doing in my heart and life to bring me to this point.  

Isaiah 35 (NKJV)

 ¹ The wilderness and the wasteland shall be glad for them,
      And the desert shall rejoice and   blossom as the rose; 
       ² It shall blossom abundantly and rejoice,
      Even with joy and singing.
      The glory of Lebanon shall be given to it,
      The excellence of Carmel and Sharon.
      They shall see the glory of the LORD,
         The excellency of our God. 
Paul is truly an excellent man.  I am thrilled to be his, very soon.