Monday, April 9, 2012

Following Christ When We Think We Can't....

Several weeks ago, I accepted a job to teach a 5th-6th grade class in the fall, and am waiting for the class to be filled so I can be offered a contract.  In the meantime, I've been all over the place in my thoughts and actions, doubting more than I'd like to admit.  Today at lunch my husband's questions both pierced and healed me:  'Why don't you think you can do this?'  'I don't want to fail, to disappoint anyone.....,'  I trailed off as I thought of how ridiculous that must sound....knowing I am able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  I have heard the opinions of others.....and I have to go back to what God is calling me to, for this season.  I will keep you posted on what happens, but will leave you with some thoughts from my journal, and my thanks on this Multitude Monday.

"Thank you for speaking to me [Lord]....You are helping me to trust my husband……and therefore trust you.  I’ve met with the love of my husband, and unconditional acceptance and support that I have known no where else.  He gives it to me freely, and shows me Christ in this.  I waver, and he stays true…..moving forward every day towards Christ.  I doubt and fear and wonder...and he keeps loving me, u.ntil I believe that I am loved.  

Lord, help me to do this job you have called me to!  Help me to prepare, believing that You will give me all I need to do this job.  I have wavered....You’ve already gone before me and prepared the way.  Why would I not come?  Why do I trust my own understanding more than your perfect will....Oh that you would crucify my flesh and make me new in you again, my Lord.  That you would kill the part of me that resists your goodness and grace.  That I would rise with confidence in all you are doing.

I come to you empty-handed, expecting a feast as I sit before the enemies that plague me—doubt, fear, unbelief, stubbornness, sloth, the opinions of others, and so many more.  Feast with me, my Lord, let us fellowship together at the table of Love.  Amen."

My multitude of thanks:

~my dear husband, who can speak to me with confidence, grace, and truth, always in love guiding me towards Christ
~the job that is waiting for me in the fall
~the ability to do what you have called me to
~this season of rest that I am in right now
~new friends who accept me as I am, encourage me to be more
~the fun Segway tour this weekend--happy birthday to Paul and anniversary to us both!
~evenings reading and watching BBC Planet Earth, TED talks, and Ray VanderLaan with hubby
~my new HCSB iPad app--can't wait to dig into this more!
~the chance to sing in this River Oaks Easter Choir this past Sunday, See What a Morning, indeed!
~my Science student passing his semester test missing only 1/2 point out of 40....and the encouragement on this from Paul
~the eternal life brought to us through the sacrificial death and resurrection of Christ

And some photos of our weekend:
Our first stop on the Segway tour....yummy bakery!

Outside the resort where tour was offered

Ron Jon Resort Lobby

Paul takes a break while I snap photos at the beach

A small jet flew over the beach to wish us all Happy Easter!

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