Monday, July 2, 2012

Recording 1000 thanks, and seeing that He cares...

This morning I sat with my newly revamped 'art-prayer-thanksgiving-goal-dream' journal, meditating on God, where He has me in life.  A bit surprised, I must say, that I did finally reach 1000 thanks...{with thanks for this book, this author...}  It's just that one thousand snuck up on me!  I started recording my thanks, knowing it was good for my soul; it was also reminiscent of my childhood at Faith Chapel, and Mr. Haynes leading us in 'Count Your Blessings'.  But what I didn't know is that it really would change me. Reading One Thousand Gifts was a delight, don't get me wrong...However, I love reading, devouring words really, and unfortunately many of them are a 'feast of words', that I never share with another soul.  Sadly, I do admit this.

But I suspect this lesson is different, and penning #1000 this morning underscored exactly what I have learned: "I enjoy the fact that You care deeply for me..."

15 months of marriage and counting...
Counting blessings, gifts from my Father God, has shown me just this...He DOES care deeply for me, and fill me, not because I give thanks, but giving thanks gives me eyes to see His goodness!  No need for me to doubt this, again.  Period.  Everywhere I look, in big and small ways, God has shown up these past 15 months of our journey.  There have been challenges, for sure...but years past, it has been easy to give in to self-pity, doubt, and many other sins that separate me from my Father.  This year, with weak, and sometimes doubting faith, I have opened up my journal, and five, ten, fifteen blessings come spilling out of my pen each day.  I'm shocked every time it happens.  But why?  Doesn't His word tell me it will be so?  The Israelites doubted God's provision, even as they accepted the gift of daily bread {read more on that here}, and so do we all.

As I type, listening to the Christian radio artist singing of God's power to overcome, I make this choice:  I will trust.  I recall this passage from Habakkuk 3:

"Though the fig tree does not bud and there is no fruit on the vines, though the olive crop fails and the fields produce no food, though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls, yet I will triumph in Yahweh; I will rejoice in the God of my salvation! Yahweh my Lord is my
strength; He makes my feet like those of a deer and enables me to walk on mountain heights!"

And my own version:  though my life is not what I thought it would be, it feels as if I have failed more than I've succeeded, the budget is tight, doubts and fears plague me, yet I will rejoice in my perfect God and Savior, He will help me walk through the coming days....with joy...and thanks!  Amen.
Related: One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are

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