Seeking to....Know Him?

It seems like it could go without saying.  We seek the Lord in order to know Him....but do we?  Do I?  When I start struggling with discontent, the first place to look is my heart, and what my heart is craving....passionately pursuing...and subsequently, causing me to run from the Lord.  I've been searching my heart, pursuing honesty with the Lord, in order to get to the bottom of the discontent that plagues me, the mire in my soul that convinces me that God is not good.  That He has forgotten.  That His promises are not true.  What plagues you when the bustle dies down?  When the to-do list is done and the house is quiet but for your anxious and repetitive thoughts?  What are those thoughts?

I sat on my new-to-me love-seat just a couple of days ago, reflecting on where I am in life, and where my soul is finding joy, as I've resolved to do...and the question came to me gentle, but firm...I dismissed it at first, but it came again, "Why are you seeking me?"  I was ready with my Sunday-school answers, but none of them seemed sufficient...none true...and it was too late.  My mask was ripped off with that simple query from the Holy Spirit, and I was left naked, and waiting.  Waiting to hear what He was wanting to teach me in that moment.  I've learned to listen closely in these moments, as they do not come as often as I'd like.  And I discovered that some repentance was in order.  It seems I have drifted from seeking the Lord for the pure delight of knowing Him.  Why do you seek Him?  Perhaps I am alone on this one.  But there are a myriad of reasons why we may seek Him, if we really look deep in our hearts....is it another thing on our to-do list?  Is it to feel good about ourselves?  Is is to earn favor with God?  Is is to impress others with our spirituality?  And while I know that we can and will never have totally pure motives in any spiritual endeavor...it is still worthwhile to open up the dark closets of our souls, and let the light of Christ shine in.

From Philippians 3:
⁷ But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ⁸ What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ ⁹ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. ¹⁰ I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ¹¹ and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.


After that couch conversation with my God, it seemed that communion with Him came more quickly, though I still have so far to go.  Resolve with me to put aside false reasons for seeking the Lord....and ask for His grace to seek Him anew....as we bask in His radiant presence, the journey can only get brighter!

Ruth