Sunday, March 4, 2012

Cultivating a Vision for Your Spouse

My husband has become quite a man since then!
It was quiet this morning except for the whirring of our ceiling fan, as I lay in bed next to my sleeping husband.  The summer is starting to creep in on us and the AC was not working (maintenance has come since then, thankfully!), so I was warm....but my heart was a-glow with the warmth of Christ towards my man.  I was thinking of how much I appreciate him--his long-suffering nature, kind spirit, and listening ear....among many other things.  He is a man of great character.  I was thinking, too, of my calling to him as a wife, and the ways I need to grow.  I searched my heart for the ways I am loving and showing him respect, but realized, with a sense of regret, that I have too often missed the joy of seeing him with Christ's eyes.

You see, just like the Apostle Paul realized, our Father has a passion that each of us be transformed into the image of Christ.  He knows the steps we need to take to get there, the winding path we will each take on our journey Home.  And I can choose to participate in the adventure with God, or I can work against it, both in my own life, and that of my spouse.  Perhaps it is easy for you, too, to look to the practical needs of marriage--who will pay the bills, clean the house, and cook the meals...among other things.  Attending to the soul-needs of my husband is another matter.  It is a mystery, this joining with God to minister to him in a way that no one else can or ever will.

But this morning I realized that cultivating a vision for my husband's Christ-likeness is what I want to re-commit to in my marriage.  We just hit 11 months this weekend, and though there have been rough spots, the good far outweighs the not-so-good (notice I did not say 'bad'....because hard does not mean bad!) As we approach Easter, I look towards our sacrificial Christ as my model for who my husband is becoming.    Here are some of the questions I am asking myself as I embark on this new journey (perhaps you want to join me in this too?):

~What do I see Christ forming in my spouse this year, and in 5, 10, 15, and 30 or more years?  How can I participate in that adventure?

~How am I encouraging my spouse to turn away from sin and accept the Grace that is offered to Him through the blood of Christ?

~How can I put aside my own expectations and demands for my spouse, to seek what Christ may want to accomplish in him/her?

~How can I help my spouse realize his/her 'beloved-ness' as an adopted child of the Most High God?

~What weaknesses or areas of temptation do I see in my spouse, which may require extra grace, strength, or wisdom on my part?

~What might be distracting me from this calling to participate and find joy in cultivating a vision for my spouse?

Those are just a few of my humble thoughts, to get us started.  I'd love to hear any additions you might have, that I could benefit from as well!

God bless you, in your own marriage journey,



  1. Paul is blessed to have a woman like you wanting to grow in love for him!

    We have always thought about how it simplifies things in marriage to think about what it would be like to be a friend, and excellent, long-suffering friend to each other. This is one of the biggest challenges of our lives! But also very rewarding to see someone else know how they are loved by Jesus because they are loved by you too.

  2. Wise words. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Julie!


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