Grace for the messy middle

I usually write about what I know, but today I will write about what I don’t know. I don’t know what I’ll eat tomorrow, when we’ll need new tires, and I certainly didn't know who would win the Super Bowl. I don’t know where her life is going, or how he’ll respond to my words. Honestly, I don’t know what God is doing in my own heart & life much of the time. What if it is better that we know so little about the future? Could it be merciful of God to show us such a small part of where our story, or a friend’s, is going? Why do we desperately grasp for control, when we are assured so little? How can we live into the mystery without being paralyzed by our lack of control? 

I love this quote, but find it much harder to live:

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” -Rainer Maria Rilke

Living into the mystery of life, one day at a time, and letting go of control, can be liberating. You won’t find a formula for this peaceful, contented and messy life. By nature, we humans like things to be defined, black and white, bottled up and sold for a reasonable price. Honoring the mystery and unresolved nature of life…is a sacred journey. Embracing grace as we take slow steps forward, and many more backward. I am often harsh with myself for not knowing exactly how to respond to X situation or Y comment. Much of life is gray; words from the friend who kindly shared the above quote. I’m beginning to understand just what she meant, and it is both freeing and terrifying. 

In this season of life, I feel safer with the black and white; it is much easier to stay where I’m comfortable, or work towards the expected, rather than stepping out into the gray, with passion and conviction, despite the resistance I might face. But it is equally dangerous for a bold and self-assured individual to risk without wisdom, like a bull in a china shop, so confident in his/her opinions and choices that hearts are damaged left and right. Staying in step with the Spirit is the only way forward. I’ve been hearing Jesus’ words roll around in my head over the last few days - I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. Holding onto this truth will lead us forward, and most likely, in very different ways. Will we allow our fellowship with Christ to inform our way forward, his words to become ours, his life to continue through ours? 

I’m becoming aware of how little I desire fellowship with Christ, but long instead for results, answers, direction. Prayer becomes empty when it is devoid of fellowship. In the same way, life becomes empty when we are always looking for resolution, eager to find answers and completion. The messy middle is where life really happens: tough conversations you were brave to attempt, pursuing a new venture with no guarantee of success, offering thanks and praise when the answers still don’t come. This is the substance of life, not the extras. What I do know, and am coming to embrace more assuredly, is that he is WITH me regardless of the path I take. Keeping company with Christ, in the midst of the unresolved, directly affects our posture towards others as we all ‘fail forward’.

Can we give each other grace, and assume the best of each other’s hearts, even if we make very different choices, and come to strikingly different conclusions about gray issues? Can we remember that we are all 'in process'? There are certainly truths to live and be transformed by in the Word, directives that are not up for dispute, but I grieve at the judgement I see in my own heart and others’ over the gray areas. Find kind companions, who open new possibilities and bring unexpected joy, wrapped up in mystery just as we are. Be kind to your own soul as well. Embracing the tension of our responsibility and our Creator’s wise guidance in each choice, deepens our trust, joy, and peace. Resist the urge to leave the waiting rooms of life too early, or approach the next assignment with a consumer mindset. But do leave the waiting room when it is time, even if the knees still wobble. 

Sacred rhythms such as the Sabbath, fellowship around the Word, daily worship and generous living refresh our souls. Buoyed by these graces, we can patiently look for signposts and clues along the way. But let's not forget to lose ourselves in the wonders of nature, a child's laughter, and the deep unknown places of God's heart, expressed through a friend. I have a small sign above my kitchen sink that simply says, LIVE. One small word, with a very powerful message. Live today, entering the beautiful possibility of the unresolved season you are facing; perhaps you’ll find me waiting there too. There is glory in the messy middle, just as much as in the decision made, the project completed, the child all grown. Can we find grace for our hearts and others’ hearts as we stumble forward?

Bible passages for further study: Matthew 6:25-34 and James 4:13-15

What are your questions? Will you honor your heart in the midst of your unfinished story? Who will you invite into your mystery?

Embracing the joy and mystery of Christmas {even when life hurts}

Emmanuel, God With Us, is inviting you into His mysterious joy...

I'll omit the apology for not writing in a while, because honestly? It's been a very challenging season of trials and this last heartache left our hearts bleeding and crying out for Christmas joy like no other. I'm not gonna lie, if any one of us is needing joy, I'll be the first in line! As I've cried out for comfort and leaned on friends in new ways, I'm finding that the things I'll share here are making all the difference. Perhaps this isn't exactly a picture perfect Christmas for you either? Well, stick around, because you and me, friend? We've got front row seats to a Christmas miracle and the tickets are FREE!

I've asked God for a special reminder of His presence and love, and the song O Come, O Come Emmanuel has sprinkled crumbs on the trail to His glory and grace. My worship-leader-treasured-friend reminded me that most Christmas songs are written in a minor key, and you might be asking why? Longing. We are all longing for the hope, peace, and joy that the people of God craved before the first coming of Christ. They weren't just waiting for months, or a couple years, we're talking hundreds of years since there had been any prophetic revelation from God.  Take a nice, slow read of a few stanzas in the song at this link.

Do you see the longing displayed in those words? These were some seriously dark times for the people of God, friends. May we find encouragement in knowing that we are not alone this Christmas, and God is again this year bending low, humbling Himself and giving His presence in the midst of whatever circumstances we are facing.

Emmanuel, God with us. He is the friend like no other, who will sit down with you in the middle of your mess. He'll hold you, he'll cry with you. In fact, He came to share the sufferings of life with you. He is the gracious and compassionate High Priest. My mind is struggling to wrap itself around the simultaneous truths of God's goodness and sovereignty, yet again. No need to feel guilt over that if you are there too. But regardless of whether or not you are able to embrace those mind-bending truths, you can confess your doubt and struggle to believe Him. 

My mind turns to the beautiful young Mary, the mother of our Lord Jesus. Because of her humble faith, we are able to enjoy the embrace of our Savior in hard and happy times. When we don't understand why God is allowing difficulties, or when we are equally astounded at undeserved blessings that come our way (as we should be), we honor God by entering the mystery of His grace with the humble faith Mary had. She did not understand exactly what God was doing, but she chose to praise Him in the midst of it and she chose to embrace HIS plan for her life. It was certainly not an easy road for her, in many ways. I'm asking myself this Christmas, how can I embrace where God has me, both the good and bad, and praise Him still? How can you?

Though He will always come to find us, humbly entering our mess, we can bring Him glory by moving towards Him in faith as well. Remember, He wants to be WITH YOU in your pain. He is not asking You to wash up and put on that cute holiday dress before you can show up at the ball. He takes your hand, and invites you into His presence anyway. 
I'm still learning to dance, but here are some steps I'm taking towards His embrace this Christmas...

Honesty and humility - Nobody likes platitudes, but sometimes speaking the truth as a bandaid over our pain (whether it's our self-talk or the words of others) helps, and other times, the wound just keeps festering underneath. I know, because when the pain is gushing out bright red, your sweet little heart feels like it just might explode and who wants that? Being honest with a few friends, my husband, and most importantly, God, has been vital to surviving this recent loss. It is pretty humbling to have to admit how much we can struggle to believe (especially when that word is plastered all over ads and commercials this time of year) but no one can really help if they don't know what you're going through. 

Friends like Philemon - If you don't have friends like Paul had in Philemon, who encourage your heart and stand with you in the battle, start asking God for them. But most likely, I'd be willing to bet there is at least one friend or family member who is wanting to be there for you. Will you let them in? I can totally empathize here, as asking for help is again, humbling, but thankfully the people who love me are patient, and I'm certain your support network will be too.

Moving towards the pain, not away from it - Ouch. I know, I had to bring this up, right? Hiding in bed is pretty comforting too, but we've all got to face the day at some point. The pain and grief you are facing won't go away, and maybe you are not ready to deal with the issues right now, but the longer we put it off, the slower the healing will be. Give yourself grace, but take some small steps every day to look at the wounds, allowing the Healer to bind them up and comfort you with His word.

Forgiveness - If nothing else in this post has spoken to you, I'm guessing maybe this one might? Unforgiveness is such a huge obstacle to joy at Christmas time, considering all the people we are mingling with. Small talk won't cut it if there are years of misunderstanding that need to be dealt with. What if you had that talk you've been putting off for so long? Have you considered forgiving yourself too? The Gospel is Christ coming to earth, entering our mess, making a way for hope, joy and PEACE with Him and others for eternity.

Tears of worship - Remember those friends I mentioned? Another lovely friend comforted me with the fact that our tears are precious to God (He keeps them all in a bottle, the Word says, but it's okay if you need that Olympic-size swimming pool next to mine :) When prayer is hard, friends seem absent, and you're just not ready to deal with the pain, tears are enough. He is WITH us, and willing to walk with us, wherever we are today, whether we are ready to heal or still curled up in a ball.

I hope you can find comfort in the mysterious joy of Emmanuel this Christmas, regardless of your circumstances. Remember that dusty, dirty stable where Christ was born? It's okay if that's what your heart, your home, or your relationships are looking like this Christmas. Jesus did not demand a perfect situation for His arrival on earth. He humbled Himself and came in the most vulnerable way. Wherever you are this Christmas, He wants to be WITH you there. Will you let Him in?

For additional encouragement, check out Emmanuel (Hallowed Manger Ground) by Chris Tomlin and Hope is Alive by Ellie Holcomb. I've had the second on repeat lately, it's that good :)

UPDATE: Great encouragement for the suffering in this broken, hostile world from Ann Voskamp (don't miss the spoken word video at the end!)

Amazed by Grace,

Ruth

The wellness secret that will change everything

Fall snuck in the back door, and just as quietly, is about to leave, replacing brilliant colors with serene and peaceful landscapes.

Long, quiet, lonely days prompt me to pick up the lens and capture moments of joy to remember the beauty right outside my door. So too, is the choice to be thankful... a lovely guest that sits out in the foyer waiting to be welcomed in, but is often ignored while the pesky and burdensome Discontent distracts and dazzles.


Making the choice to really see the beauty we're surrounded by is strangely difficult. Thankfulness is the mortar that holds together the joints and marrow of our souls, giving our lives shape and meaning.



This stony path is littered with beautiful surprises and one small secret spurs me on when my faith lags...

She told me during another rough time that what God was giving me in that season was His best for me...not an afterthought, a punishment, a manipulation to get me to 'behave better'.

And so I turn the key and open this door to a beautiful surprise, the gift of joy. Realizing that because God gives what is best, I have what I want (who really does know what one's soul deeply needs?) rather than wanting what I don't have. What I have is all I need for today. Perhaps tomorrow, a need or desire will arise, but for today, my soul can be full if I slow down to chew and enjoy the feast of today.




I see light ahead, showing only the next step towards Home. I wipe the dust of fear and doubt at the welcome mat of His throne, and whisper thanks for Him, for my hard-working man, for the simple joy of snapping beauty all around. And I feel His smile and embrace as we warm by the fire of joy.

For further meditation: Matthew 6:25-34, Psalm 30:5, 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

By Grace,

Ruth

Praise Him in the Waiting {Day 7}

In today's world, the word 'wait' is akin to a curse word.  Right?  Maybe that's just my opinion, but I know I certainly don't enjoy waiting.  Try living near a big city and experiencing impatient drivers honking for all sorts of silly things, and you'll be convinced too.  I can't say that I enjoy waiting.  Quite the contrary.  And the idea of praising God while I wait?  You might as well ask me to grow a third arm--it really seems impossible!  But I was recently reminded that 'life' is not somewhere out there, it is right here, right now....God has crafted a unique plan for YOU, for ME, for all of us.  So when we fix our eyes on our own plans and desires rather than holding up our hands to receive whatever He wants to give, we lose sight of all the joy He's already given us.  What if that thing you so deeply desire would actually hurt you?  What if He intends it to come to pass, but giving it to you now would hurt you?  What if we took the radical choice to believe that He really loves us, and is really working all things for our good (even if good feels bad!)  A wise older woman has reminded me while I sit through hard waiting times that those very situations are God's best for me.  It's not an afterthought.  No, He's allowing me to wait because that is what my soul needs.  He's doing that for you, too, brother and sister. 

Make a list of all the things you're waiting for.  Now write next to each one how you feel while you wait for those things.  Pretty revealing, right?  Talk to God about those things.  He is not sitting up in heaven dangling those things over your head.  He wants to have a conversation with you about them.  He. loves. us.  And the best part?  Waiting increases our appetite for Him, and nothing but Christ can bring any of us more joy and satisfaction!!

Psalm 84:11 - "For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor. No good thing does he withhold  from those who walk uprightly."

Psalm 27:14 - "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Christy Nockels - "Waiting Here for You" video

Waiting with you.... Ruth

Take a look at this page for links to all posts in this series...