Adjust your expectations, Miss Piggy!

I have to admit, I haven't laughed as hard as I did watching Muppets Most Wanted on Christmas Day... in quite some time. Not sure what that says about me, but there you go, think what you will! :) Regardless of whether you see the movie or not, you really MUST watch this music video. HI-larious, as my family would say! Paul and I got a good laugh out of it for days, really :) The movie and this video in particular got me thinking though, what have my expectations been lately - for myself, my marriage, my life, my faith, etc? Are they healthy, godly expectations, or are they self-centered worldly expectations? Okay, I'll be honest, a little of both. You too?

When we were newly married almost four years ago, Paul and I read Paul David Tripp's book, What Did You Expect? {Redeeming the Realities of Marriage} together, and it was revolutionary for us. I suspect Miss Piggy has not read this book (and Kermit is wise not to pop the question until she does! :) Expectations are tricky little boogers. Unfortunately for most of us, we don't realize we even have expectations for a certain relationship or situation until we find ourselves disappointed with the realities we are facing.

This time of year, I think it is safe to say that we are all faced with expectations for the new year before us. Whether those are positive, healthy expectations, guilt-ridden expectations, or simply selfish expectations, that's for you and God to evaluate...sharing with a friend is good too. Expectations are not inherently wrong, and in fact, can sometimes be helpful. Healthy expectations can help us make wise choices, enjoy the blessings around us, and dream about what God could do with our gifts and talents, among other things. Selfish expectations can do the opposite, often robbing us of joy, leading us down fruitless paths, and distracting us from God's best for our lives. As we move forward into our year, might we consider what our deeper motivations and expectations are? Why are we doing/planning/hoping for the things we are hoping for? Are our goals and expectations informed by truth, selfless love, and joy in Christ?

I've also seen that my dreams and expectations can be too small, as well! God-centered hopes and expectations are fixed on the person of Christ, HIS goals in the world, who we are in the image of God, and His power that can make all things possible. Only God knows if our hopes/dreams/expectations for ourselves this year are what HE would want. Have we asked Him to lead us in this area? Are we more focused on changing someone else, than being focused on surrendering to the amazing things God wants to do in and through us this year?

For added encouragement on this topic check out Emily Freeman's book, A Million Little Ways: Uncover the Art You Were Made to Live or Holley Gerth's You're Made for a God-Sized Dream: Opening the Door to All God Has for You, as well as the Paul David Tripp book I mentioned above.

Please consider leaving a comment with your favorite book or resource on the topic! I'd love to learn from your experience. I'm also curious about the new movie Into the Woods, as I've heard it displays the down side of getting what we want. Have you seen it? What do you think?

Thoughts on the new year...from my desk :)

It's been a great start to the new year in some ways, and a humbling reminder of my brokenness in other ways! So thankful for friends coming to visit, and thankful for a marriage that can hold the ups and downs of life with grace and truth. I've had just a bit of time to see bloggers and friends posting their new year's thoughts, goals, and dreams online, which is both exciting and intimidating!

I was once that girl. You know, the one with the color-coded, sectioned off goal sheet for the new year, complete with step-by-step subgoals and pictures. Go ahead and roll your eyes, my family certainly did! Thankfully, I've learned to give myself (and others) quite a bit more grace since my pre-teen years, and making new year's goals is not as overwhelming and oppressive to myself and others. I went through the phase of not making goals for a while, but instead determining new habits to focus on (life goals), and I've also tried making quarterly goals. Both have been great! I think I might do a little combo of that this year, but I'm also adding the ONE WORD challenge to my list. 

True to form, I've waited for the 'one word' phase to become a little less trendy, but I couldn't help myself this year. As I've spent time in prayer and conversation with friends over the last few days, the word PEACE keeps rolling around in my mind and heart. Not just peace, but the deeper and all-encompassing Hebrew word, SHALOM, the world and everything within it being made right, whole, complete, and as it was meant to be. For weeks and months, this word, shalom, has been popping up in various places...a sermon preached at a church we attended only a few times...an email from my sister...the Spirit's prompting...a deep desire for shalom in our lives and the lives of others...an unrelated conversation with a friend, etc. Okay, so you get the point, and I do too! God is up to something and I just need to pay attention. Isn't that really what it comes down to so often? God is doing something in our lives, we just need to surrender and embrace it. 

I'm still working on my quarterly goals, but I might just resurrect some from last quarter...that I didn't quite master. That still counts, right? Here you go: 

~ Eat something green every day

~ Keep water with me at all times (and guzzle it!) Best beauty habit ever.

~ 20 min reading / 20 min writing / 20 minutes yoga & meditation daily

And some new ones, considering it is a new year (quarter):

~ Finish the Tribe Writers course (next course starts in June, if you're interested!)

~ Emphasize conversation and interest in others on social media

~ Learn to be a better encourager

~ Can I say it? Read through the Bible this year...Okay, so now you know and I have to do it! 

I'm excited about what She Reads Truth is doing to help us out with this, and optimistic that with community support, this last one might come to fruition. Whether you make this your goal or not, please do check out SRT. Great site! I will say that God is renewing my desire for the Word, and I'm only approaching this Bible-in-a-year goal by His grace and not in my own strength. Maybe chewing on the book of John is more your style?

Getting back to habits/life goals...take a look at Jonathan Edward's resolutions. Does it get any better than that? I'm pretty sure I can't master even one of them this year, but I plan to look them over regularly and ask God to help me move in that direction. Another idea is to write a vision statement, but I'll talk about that in another post, when I'm feeling a bit more motivated. It's not something to take lightly, and to be honest, it's been a while since I re-wrote my vision statement. Maybe it's time... maybe next quarter? :)

One more thing, a question for you, dear reader... could you take a moment and email me at ruthlessloveblog@gmail.com? I want to hear what topics would be a blessing to you this quarter/year! My overall focus is wellness + spirituality, but anything within that umbrella is an option. You can add this to my goal list : serve my readers well! I'd be happy to lift up any prayer requests as well. Just drop me a line! 

Hoping with you, for a new year and new quarter that is filled with the goodness of God, because no matter what happens, HE IS GOOD! 

2013: A year to listen...

The calendar turns and I turn towards Christ, leaning in and asking what this year holds.  I don't expect specific answers, though that is always a relief, but rather I've been looking for the call He has on my year, if anything.  We, my sweet man and I, have prayed daily for God to lead and guide us.  And the answer still seems to be that we take things one. day. at. a. time.  I'm terrible at this.  I love to sprint ahead and figure it all out myself, to find the answers and apply them in my own strength.  But of course, you know this is not the way our Lord operates.  Quite the contrary!  Doing this separates me from my dear Savior, and leaves me flailing, as I struggle to clean up the messes I have inadvertently made.  [Not that I can speak from experience on this.... :) ]

But as I walked around the neighborhood this morning, enjoying the last few days of my break before school starts again, my emotions were swirling, and I beat down anger and disappointment with myself and life. Author David Seamands says emotions are an indicator of what is happening underneath the surface, and I believe it.  For me, when my emotions are soaring, or in the dumps, I have to listen to my God, my husband, my current lifestyle choices, and adjust accordingly.

LISTEN.  There's that word that most of us want to master, but often don't know how.  Or perhaps I speak for myself?  Before I got married, I prided myself in being an excellent listener.  But I quickly realized how much I needed to grow in this area!  Hashing over the same issues together, day in and day out, can be rewarding when a solution is found, but the process can be difficult... More than just listening to my husband, and my friends, there's a deeper goal I feel the Lord has put on my heart this year:  listening to Him.  This can sometimes be a controversial topic, when considering the charismatic church's viewpoints versus the more reformed thinkers.  But the common ground is found, of course, in meditating on the Word, and listening to God speak in that way.  This is my foundational source for listening to God, as I ask, seek and knock, and go about all my daily tasks and responsibilities.  Prayer and fellowship are absolutely crucial as well, a life-source for me every day.

But author Jan Meyers, in her book, Listening to Love, entices the reader with many more ways that we can 'listen' to God....perhaps subjective, in the minds of some, but I gain great wisdom from her discourse on the subject.  It's no surprise to you then, that I would pick this book up just a week ago, and then today have God lay the call to LISTEN on my heart.  Some of the topics in the book include: Listening to sorrow, our need, each other, reality, exhaustion, and beauty, among others.  I've read this book before, but am always drawn to it again when I need to gain new vision and direction on my life.  I'd encourage you to pick it up, in hopes that it would do the same for you.

Here's an excerpt, which will help you understand some of the main theme of the book:  "If your heart is even remotely like mine, you can trace the movements it goes through on the way to this confident expectation [following the Voice of Love to joy beyond our dreams]. We begin in a posture of uncertainty--Is it Jesus I hear, and even if it is, do I want to open the door? Here the question of our hearts sounds like this: Is it really you, Jesus?  When we have tentatively turned the knob to lean in or hear what he has to say, we move into the second posture.  Here we recognize that it is indeed Jesus on the other side of the door, but we also recognize that he can do whatever he wants with our life.  Oh no, it is you, Jesus.  And then, over time and tender experience, our hearts move into a posture of peaceful gratitude, knowing that something so much bigger than our understanding is unfolding, something for our good as well as for God's.  Finally our hearts relax with the unexpected, Oh good, it is you, Jesus."

I'm looking forward to hearing and watching God move in my life, and in my marriage this year, whatever that may look like.  And though I don't know what that will mean exactly, I feel ready to really listen, lay down my pride, and let it all unfold.  I've man (woman?)-handled my path too many times, and submitting to God's will is the best place to be.

Will you listen to His call this year?  What is your one word call for the year?

Blessings on you,
Ruth

Following Christ When We Think We Can't....

Several weeks ago, I accepted a job to teach a 5th-6th grade class in the fall, and am waiting for the class to be filled so I can be offered a contract.  In the meantime, I've been all over the place in my thoughts and actions, doubting more than I'd like to admit.  Today at lunch my husband's questions both pierced and healed me:  'Why don't you think you can do this?'  'I don't want to fail, to disappoint anyone.....,'  I trailed off as I thought of how ridiculous that must sound....knowing I am able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  I have heard the opinions of others.....and I have to go back to what God is calling me to, for this season.  I will keep you posted on what happens, but will leave you with some thoughts from my journal, and my thanks on this Multitude Monday.

"Thank you for speaking to me [Lord]....You are helping me to trust my husband……and therefore trust you.  I’ve met with the love of my husband, and unconditional acceptance and support that I have known no where else.  He gives it to me freely, and shows me Christ in this.  I waver, and he stays true…..moving forward every day towards Christ.  I doubt and fear and wonder...and he keeps loving me, u.ntil I believe that I am loved.  

Lord, help me to do this job you have called me to!  Help me to prepare, believing that You will give me all I need to do this job.  I have wavered....You’ve already gone before me and prepared the way.  Why would I not come?  Why do I trust my own understanding more than your perfect will....Oh that you would crucify my flesh and make me new in you again, my Lord.  That you would kill the part of me that resists your goodness and grace.  That I would rise with confidence in all you are doing.

I come to you empty-handed, expecting a feast as I sit before the enemies that plague me—doubt, fear, unbelief, stubbornness, sloth, the opinions of others, and so many more.  Feast with me, my Lord, let us fellowship together at the table of Love.  Amen."

Inspired today by this Chris Tomlin song....

My multitude of thanks:

~my dear husband, who can speak to me with confidence, grace, and truth, always in love guiding me towards Christ

~the job that is waiting for me in the fall

~the ability to do what you have called me to

~this season of rest that I am in right now

~new friends who accept me as I am, encourage me to be more

~the fun Segway tour this weekend--happy birthday to Paul and anniversary to us both!

~evenings reading and watching BBC Planet Earth, TED talks, and Ray VanderLaan with hubby

~my new HCSB iPad app--can't wait to dig into this more!

~the chance to sing in this River Oaks Easter Choir this past Sunday, See What a Morning, indeed!

~my Science student passing his semester test missing only 1/2 point out of 40....and the encouragement on this from Paul
~the eternal life brought to us through the sacrificial death and resurrection of Christ

And some photos of our weekend:

Our first stop on the Segway tour....yummy bakery!

Outside the resort where tour was offered

Ron Jon Resort Lobby

Paul takes a break while I snap photos at the beach

A small jet flew over the beach to wish us all Happy Easter!

Setting Sail with the Wind of the Spirit

"The Senator" in Big Tree Park, Longwood, FL

It was a beautiful, balmy day and we had set out to enjoy nature for the afternoon.  This included a very large, very old tree, and a walk by the marina, watching the boats float in the deep blue water.  So nice to get out and get a new perspective on the day.  We had things to 'discuss'...eh-hem....you understand, right? So a beautiful view was in order to make that go a little more smoothly.  It has been a good first few months together, but we're thinking through our vision for the future, and having different expectations on things can make that a little tricky at times.

So, what are your expectations for your New Year?  How do you handle the switch from one year to the next?  Is it as uneventful as a sneeze, or does it come in like a bang, fireworks and all?  Perhaps for many of you, it is something in between....you take inventory...make a few small changes...and by the middle of February, it's back to normal, just the daily grind, trying to get through the week with as little grief as possible.  On the other hand, this may be a year where you are SO determined to do things differently, that you have come up with a three-volume set of resolutions that is sure to set you up for success.  I've been there.  Ask my sisters about the year a Brio article revolutionized my life and I had to make my very own list of resolutions.  This wasn't your average list....it was divided into categories of my life that 'needed work', be it exercise, relationships, my faith, diet...you name it, I had a resolution for it.  And I took that list with me throughout the year, referring to it almost as much as I did my Bible.

Sanford Marina -- photo credit

Now, don't hear me wrongly, I think resolutions are wonderful with the right heart attitude.  But for that one year back in high school, I was so into my own goals and my own efforts, that I had lost sight of Christ, and what HE might have in store for my year, rather than my sails being filled by the Holy Spirit, to make progress in any of those areas.   Since then, I've come to see that I have a radically good Father and Savior, and HIS power to change me is much greater than anything I could muster up on my own.  (My over-achieving goals and resolutions only lasted for that one year, by the way...)

All that being said, I still do like to take inventory, ask the Lord to work in my life in new ways, and give myself fully to the new things God might want to do in and through me.  To that end, there are some new things on my heart and you'll see a few changes around here in the coming weeks.

~Who I Am in Christ series:  I hope to go through this list of Bible passages that has been an encouragement to me over the years, and that I have found myself gravitating back to again in the last few weeks.  I thought perhaps you would enjoy hearing my journey through those meditations.
~Focus on Joy and Contentment:  I have been working to cultivate these two virtues, and I'd like to have a greater focus on them here, and what God has been teaching me.  This blog may look a little different, or it might stay the same, I haven't decided for sure, but I'm hoping to incorporate those things somehow.
~My business/affiliate programs: I have a new health & wellness business that I've started since coming down to FL and I have mentioned it at the very bottom of the page. You can take a look at that if you are interested.  I also plan to become an affiliate for a couple of companies I like, to review and recommend things that I've benefitted from and that may bless your home as well.  I don't want to get into doing a lot of ads, rest assured...but if adding some of the aforementioned things in an occasional post, sidebar, or banner would make this blog less of a blessing to you, please let me know as I will take that into consideration.  Disclaimer:  if you buy an item from the links I provide, I would receive a small portion of the sale, but you can consider that a chance to support our new family!  :)
~Guest posting: I've been wanting to get some guest bloggers on here, to spice things up, and also for your personal enjoyment, so if you would enjoy doing that, or know someone who would, stay tuned for more info. coming on that.
~Aesthetic changes:  I have some design changes in mind, but just consider that my need for some newlywed nesting, and this is my online home.  I hope you like how things will look when I'm done!  Shabby Blogs has some fun designs I'd like to experiment with.

That's all from sunny Florida, and I pray your New Year is both blessed, and a blessing to others!  I'll leave you with my Bible passage theme for the upcoming year....and challenge you to find a passage to focus your upcoming year as well!  Ruth

Isaiah 43:18-19 (NIV)

¹⁸ “Forget the former things;
   do not dwell on the past.
¹⁹ See, I am doing a new thing!
   Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
   and streams in the wasteland.